#1
Lauren - "Hey dad!"
Me- "Hey Lauren!"
A few moments pass.
Me- "What did you want?"
Lauren- "Sorry. You threw me off by answering me like that. I don't remember what I was going to say."
#2
Lauren - "Dad!"
This one sounded different so didn't respond I just got up and ran to her room. I was about to open her door when she yelled again.
Lauren- "Don't open the door!"
Me- "What happened? Are you okay?"
Lauren- "YES, GET MOM!"
Me- "Why can't I help?"
Lauren- "Get mom!"
Me- "Okay. Wait. Are you stuck in your sports bra again?"
She once got stuck in her sports bra while trying to take it off too fast. I was not there, but I heard she was found with one elbow pointing straight up at the ceiling, her face half cover covered with the bra, and a nearly dislocated shoulder. lol
Lauren- "Get mom! Hurry up!"
Me- "You're stuck in your sports bra again aren't you?" (I was laughing by this time)
Lauren- "Stop laughing I can't breathe and my shoulder hurts! Get mom! Go get her!"
Me- "She's not here. Just run at the wall real fast and you'll get loose."
Some silence as I'm sure she was seriously considering what I said.
Me- "Hey, I'm kidding don't do that. I'll go get your mom."
Lauren- "Hurry!"
#3
Lauren- "Why did you have me?"
Me- "Have you? Like as in why were you born?"
Lauren- "Yes."
Me- "The truth?
Lauren- "Yes."
Me- "As I remember it I was too cheap to get a condom. They were kind of expensive back then."
Lauren- "Dad! You're gross!"
Me- "You asked for the truth."
A little bit later
Lauren- "Dad! I want a fajita botana platter! I'm hungry!"
Me- "No. Those things are expensive."
Lauren- "You never learn do you? Bad things happen when you're cheap."
Me- "Beef or chicken?"
YOU ARE READING
Blonde Moments: Life with a blonde teenage daughter.
Non-FictionMy daughter, as smart as she is, sometimes says the craziest things. This is a collection of actual quotes that came directly from her. You can't make this stuff up. I blame it on her hair.
