All these conversations took place while Lauren was in her room and I was in the living room watching TV. She needs someone to talk to. Please someone be her friend. lol
#1
Lauren- "Dad!"
Me-"What?"
Lauren-"Prince Leia is dead! Everyone is dying this year!"
Me-"Yeah, that happens. The year is not over. It's only going to get worse."
Lauren-"Dad? What if God dies?It will break my heart if God dies."
Me-"......uh what? God can't die babe."
Lauren-"Yes he can. Everyone else is dying. I don't know what I will do when he dies. I don't think I will be able to take it."
Me-"What the hell are you talking about? God can't die!"
Lauren- "Yes he can. He's very old. It's only a matter of time."
I don't know where this is coming from. I figure something is wrong. I get up and go to her room and knock on the door. I open the door and to see how she is doing. I see that she is watching the movie "Bruce Almighty" on her T.V. I get it.
Me-"You were talking about Morgan Freeman weren't you."
Lauren-"Duh. Who else? I don't want him to die!"
I close the door and walk out.
Lauren-"He can't die!"
Me-"Oh shut up already!"
#2
Lauren-"Do you love me?"
Me-"I'm not going out to get you a Whataburger."
Lauren-"That's a no then. Got it."
#3
Lauren- "A meteorite just almost hit the Earth! They say it was as big as a house!"
Me-"Right now?"
Lauren-"Yes. It was closer than the moon!"
Me- "How close is the moon?"
Lauren -"Don't start."
Me-"How do you know one just passed?"
Lauren- "I have an app."
Me-"So it tells you when one already passed?"
Lauren-"Yes."
Me- "What the hell good is that?"
Lauren-"Reminds you that it's good to be alive dad. Duh."
Me- "Tacos reminds me it's good to be alive."
Me and Lauren at the same time. -"Let's go!"
YOU ARE READING
Blonde Moments: Life with a blonde teenage daughter.
Non-FictionMy daughter, as smart as she is, sometimes says the craziest things. This is a collection of actual quotes that came directly from her. You can't make this stuff up. I blame it on her hair.
