Battles and Secrets (Queen of Piracy Duology #2)

Chapter 13: Bad memories never die

Although I was relieved Dirk and I weren't together anymore, the horrible things he said kept returning to my mind. You must be laughing at me... How can I blame you? I'm ridiculous! I fell for the wrong man, didn't love him so much, and insisted on the relationship for years. Only a dumb soft-hearted lady would do that. Love is a stupid emotion, isn't it? How could a paranoid woman ignore her worries exactly when she shouldn't have? Yes, I was uncertain about marrying Bosch despite loving him. Why didn't I listen to my intuition? I wondered how he'd never tried to be aggressive towards Luna... Wait, I know! Because Miguel and I would've thrown him to the sharks. I sighed while trying to think where that horrible man could be if he survived the stabbing. I observed the sunset on the main deck, trying to forget my heartbreak. We were docked in Tortuga, one of my favorite places, which made me slightly happier.

"Acting like Hendrika wasn't enough. You also had to cheat! You could've satisfied me the few times we were together, but even in that you failed..." I gazed at the pearl necklace in my right hand. "A rock would've treated me better!"

Taking a deep breath, I smashed that rotten piece of jewelry. My head hurt as I remembered Dirk giving me that stupid gift on our anniversary. Bosch claimed he forgot I hated pearls because I talked too much... Can you believe it? What an idiot! Even the SHA probably knew about poor thirteen-year-old Eva trying to please her stepmother only to get flogged afterward. Don't follow my example. Stay with a man who doesn't treat you like empty rum bottles.

"You ruined love for me! I hope you're happy!" I wrinkled my nose. "Goodbye!"

Without a single drop of regret, I threw the necklace in the ocean. That gift proved how little he cared about me. I should've gotten rid of that atrocity before, but guess what? No! I had to let love blind me and keep the blood-stained pearls. Anyway, enough of the unhealable scar that bastard left on my heart. My lips curled into a weak smile as Maartje approached me and gently put a hand on my shoulder. Francis ran and licked my legs, seemingly feeling my pain.

I raised my brows, "Don't give me that look! I know we could've sold that necklace, but I had to get rid of it."

"It's been two months since Dirk disappeared and you're still thinking about it..." Maartje caressed my back. "He isn't worthy of your attention, Storm."

"Dirk and I were good together in the beginning! I was sure we would be partners for life," I put both hands on my face. "However, I always knew he was too aggressive. I just ignored it. How could I be so stupid?"

"Don't be hard on yourself. This isn't your fault," my cousin sighed. "Love makes us see what we want to see."

"Come on!" I rolled my eyes. "This is the same as saying it isn't the seagull's fault that the fish was devoured."

My remark wouldn't solve the problem, but at least it made my cousin laugh. Francis barked as if he tried to chuckle. I bit my lower lip while trying to remember the times Dirk made me laugh... It rarely happened. I'm the one who usually cracked jokes, but he could've at least tried. Tess was the only real joy Bosch had brought me.

Maartje smiled sweetly, "I love your sense of humor. Bosch doesn't know what he's missing."

"You're right," I stared at my toes. "If I hadn't believed Dirk could change, I wouldn't have stayed with him for so long. I shouldn't have given that idiot so many chances."

My cousin cocked her head to the side, "What do you mean?"

You have no idea how long I've been unhappy...

I took a deep breath while gathering the courage to say something painful. Something that had been buried in my heart for years... Look at this beauty! I created such a deep sentence about my feelings, didn't I? A pirate captain can be elegant sometimes too. Jokes aside, I'm telling the truth. I hadn't said that to anyone before. I looked in every direction, wondering if someone else was listening.