Chapter Seven

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" Steph leave me" I groaned frustratedly. She was pulling the blanket covering my body.

" Please Wura I promise not to take much of your time" She pleaded but I wasn't convinced and will probably never be convinced, I have been in bed since morning, I didn't even eat breakfast and it's way past lunch time and she didn't even notice something was wrong with me.

I don't understand whether she is been insensitive or she has just being ignoring my attitude since yesterday night.

" Steph, beg me all day. My answer will be a blatant No" I said with my words clipped. Her eyebrows pulled closer and her lips tightened in sheer annoyance.

" Suit yourself" She hissed and stood up brusquely. I also hissed after her and turned to stare at the wall my bunk bed was leaning on.

I don't understand why I feel so sad and have a sour mood, it's not usually like this. Last year I was quite happy, we cooked, ate and visited my mother's grave and at evening I curled up into my Father's embrace till I fell asleep but I probably feel this way because my home's warmth and comfort isn't here and my closest friend in Fortress isn't sensitive enough to my feelings.

Hannah, my best friend who travelled abroad for her University education, I don't even think she remembers me anymore, I have sent her a good morning message on WhatsApp since a month ago and she hasn't replied. We just view each other statuses now.

Only grandma has called me today, she told me to keep being strong and talk to Jesus about all my struggles and pain which I did earlier this morning and I was relieved for a while. Although Steph dampened my mood, I know I'm not supposed to act on a little thing like that but I just can't help it. I give her emotional support when she needs it, she should have noticed I didn't eat breakfast and lunch and I expected she should have asked why instead the first thing she did was to beg me to follow her around and knowing Steph, we will meet and greet a lot of people .

My Dad is on a church assignment so he hasn't called me and I also don't want to disturb him. I stood up from the bed and walked towards my wardrobe, standing in front of the wardrobe I picked up the frame of my pregnant mother and dusted imaginary dirt from it.

I miss her so much, I miss her sweet voice and assurances ( every Nigerian mother always have ways of assuring their children).

Honestly I think I had a perfect family  despite Mum's frequent sicknesses, our family was lovely. We aren't rich but I can said we are middle class citizens. My Dad is a full time Pastor and He pastors a chruch. He does some other businesses, Mum was a lawyer and as the only child I was very satisfied with my life. All my family's love and care was focused on me including my extended family.

Despite the fact that my Mum wasn't feeling too strong that day, she asked for permission and gave no room for the doctors and nurses in charge of her to persuade her from leaving the hospital to prepare for my 15th year birthday, I can recall the smile that lit up my Mum's oval, so symmetrical and light skinned face as she registered the look of surprise on my face as I entered the sitting room littered and decorated with ribbons and balloons. She was even more happier than I was that day but that was the last birthday she even had to celebrate with me.

I chuckled as I remembered when my Mum stuffed her face with cake. It was a secret between us that she ate a lot of cake and even took part of my ice cream that day.

I took out the Journal she also got me as a present on my last birthday with her and went through all that I wrote in there to God like she told me to.My eyes turned a flowing river as I skim through the letter I wrote to God on her first death anniversary, a part of me then didn't understand why God didn't save her like he said he would in his words.

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