Never Saw This Coming

Bad Parties.

Xander

I don't even remember when the last time a party I came to was fun.

This one is disastrous.

Not only did we lose the Orange Bowl game about three weeks ago, but my teammates seem to be over it already. I'm obviously not. Well, I am, but not completely. It's not anyone's fault specifically, we just didn't play well enough as a team. But Cgc is blaming himself. Like me, he's still grieving the loss, but he seems to be having more fun than I am. Luckily, the boys and I still have one more year to get shit right.

The football season might be over, but we'll only get a couple of weeks of rest before we get back to work. Coach doesn't like wasting any time and I'll be damned if we don't win a National Championship next year.

I'm not going to the NFL like Valdez and maybe, Rhys. I remember being young and it being my biggest dream but now? I don't think I'd adjust well to the lifestyle of all that. Being a public figure isn't something I'm fond of anymore. I'd rather live a quieter life.

Shocker.

The party boy wants to live a quiet life. The party boy is also not having fun at a party? Yeah, that doesn't sound right. I take a sip of the beer in my red solo cup. I almost gag when the, now warm liquid, tunnels down my throat. I walk into the kitchen to look for the keg for a refill when I spot Nova. She catches my eyes quickly and smiles at me, waving me over.

Novalee and Valdez have been dating for a while now. I like her a lot and she's a good addition to the friend group too. She takes care of us when we're plastered. Oh, and she makes my best friend happy too, I guess. I hold up a finger to her to say wait. This stupid fucking keg is almost empty, so it takes forever to fill up my cup. After my cup is full, I walk over to her, banging our cups together. Valdez is in the middle of a beer pong game against Cgc, so he doesn't notice me immediately. He snorts as he makes the balls easily into my other friend's cup.

Chris finally turns to me, but his attention doesn't stay on me too long. He turns back around to make sure Cgc doesn't cheat. He cheats a lot when we usually play, so I don't blame him. "Hey, baby. I missed you," he says. I look down at Nova, who furrows her brows up at him. I grin. He's not talking to her. "I've been here this whole time," she frowns.

Cgc misses the first shot. "I couldn't find you, stud," I say and Valdez smirks. Nova shoots me a look. "What the heck?" she squeaks, slapping my arm lightly. I chuckle, taking a sip from my beer. "I knew him first, you're the home wrecker," I point out, holding a hand up in defense.

She chuckles, "Actually I knew him first, remember?" I roll my eyes. Right. They've known each other since they were younger. "Fine. I'm the home wrecker," I say in defeat. She laughs, wrapping an arm around his waist to hug him. He wraps his arm around her shoulder and hugs back but throws a kiss my way. I pretend to catch it and place it over my heart. Nova looks up at him and then at me, pulling away from him. "I hate you guys." Valdez and I laugh.

"Nova, Nova, Nova."

Annnnnnd, there goes my night.

Nova turns her head quickly to the sound of her name being called. I keep my attention on the beer pong game in front of me. "Come with me! Max is gonna try to fit Kiara's fist in his mouth, let's go!" I furrow my brows at this. Goddamn it, Max. I wonder how drunk he has to be to attempt to do that. I don't doubt he can because his mouth is huge. That feels weird to say, but it's true.

"What are you doing next to him?" Her words are clearly laced with the deep hatred she has for me. I tried ignoring her, I did. I look down toward the raven-haired girl. "We're watching Chris & Cgc play beer pong!" Nova answers. I have no idea how these two are friends. They're the complete opposite.

I swear Maddy has never smiled once in all the times I've seen her. Nova has a smile plastered on her freckled face at all times. She can be moody sometimes, but not as much as Maddy who despises me. Why? She doesn't know how to let shit go. If it's not that, then I couldn't tell you. My guess, though? She's mad she can't sleep with me. Okay, I'm kidding, I'm sure that's the last thing she'd want to do.

I could end world hunger and Maddy Hayes would still call me the devil incarnate. I guess it's a good thing that I'm not very fond of her either. I typically got along with anyone I've ever met, until her. I can't fucking pinpoint why exactly we don't click.

I don't bother wasting a breath on her snarky little self. She gives me a once-over and rolls her green eyes. She looks back at the girl in front of her and grabs a hold of her hand. "Okay, let's go!" Her whole mood changes to the one she had before she noticed me. Nova taps Chris and lets him know she's leaving with Maddy.

He kisses her before she disappears with Maddy into another part of the house. "How can Nova even stand her?" I say, standing completely next to Valdez now. He looks at me quickly again. "Who Maddy?" he asks, shooting the ball, but missing just barely. He groans. I nod, "Yes, that brat."

Valdez laughs a bit and shakes his head. "She's cool," he says. Seriously? She gets along with Christian, Rhys, and hell, even Cgc sometimes. Things were a little awkward between the both of them since they slept together a couple of times before Cgc called things off. Eventually, they just started hitting it off again. I'm shocked, especially since Cgc ended things with her and not the other way around. I thought she'd hold that against him. I was wrong.

"Right," I say. I don't even want to talk about her anyway. Cgc throws his ball into Valdez's final cup but misses. Chris laughs. They're both down to one cup each and a lot of people have surrounded the table to see who wins. Cgc has had a tiny brunette attached to his hip all night.

Fuck, she's cute. I glance around to see if any other girl catches my attention, but they don't. Usually, when I come to parties, I take someone home. Sometimes it's because I'm horny, sometimes it's just because I'm too drunk. I do a lot of stupid shit when I'm drunk. Most of the time I remember the women I sleep with, but sometimes I don't because of how drunk I am. If someone ever told me I slept with them, even if I didn't, I'd likely believe them. That's how fucking wasted I get sometimes.

I make my way around all the people that gather around my two friends and head into the living area. The party is being thrown at the Alpha house which is huge. I see a group of people around the couch and curiosity spikes me. I inch toward, being able to see over a group of short girls. Cheers roar once I'm close and when I finally see what they're cheering for, I roll my eyes.

It looks like Maddy wasn't joking. Kiara's whole fist is fit into Max's mouth as the spectators snap pictures and videos for their Snapchat and Instagram stories. Kiara is almost red from the fit of laughter she's currently in. I see Maddy and Nova from the corner of my eyes. They're in fits of laughter too, recording on their phones.

I think I'd be laughing too if it wasn't for my mood. I have no idea why I haven't been feeling this party. I said it was terrible, but these are the same types of parties I'd be having a fucking blast at. I shake my head, placing my beer on the nearest table. I jog up the stairs to find the bathroom. Being around so many people right now seems almost tiring. When I find the bathroom, I'm glad to see that there's not a wait line.

I close the door immediately and the music turns faint. It's still loud but low enough for me to be able to hear my own thoughts now. That's not any better. I look at myself in the mirror and my eye bags are apparent. I haven't been getting much sleep.

That's normal for me, but what I'm feeling right now, lately, feels worse. I know what it is, the way I'm feeling. It doesn't happen as much as it used to, but it does when I don't take my medication. Usually, I tend to stay on it during the season but right after? I stop. I've thought about eliminating it completely, but my mom insists I stay on it.

I really don't feel any better when I'm on them though.

I pull out my phone and check the date. January 25th. The last time I took an antidepressant was on December 20th.

I'm doing fine.
I'll be fine, I hope.