Letting Shit Go.

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Maddy

I think there are only two things in the world better than clothes.

Sex and red velvet cake.

Dealing with ignorant assholes? I might give up sex and red velvet cake if I never had to deal with them again. But sadly, there are millions of assholes all over the world. Figuratively and literally.

Right now, I'm dealing with the biggest one. Von Romero. He's an exchange student from Paris, France — a city that I'm sad birthed him— and he's been attending Oak Hill since his freshman year. Because we're both majoring in fashion design, I've had the opportunity to have multiple classes with the guy throughout my time here. When I say I rather die than have to hear his voice, I'm very serious. I never exaggerate.

Normally, I prefer working alone whenever I have to do something for school, but sometimes professors make you do group work. Right now, we have an hour to come up with three designs for any pieces of clothing that we wish. We have to sketch them out too which is why we're in a group of four. I got paired with Von, Stella, and Marie. Unlike me, they're absolutely terrified to speak out against him. He may be a good designer, I'll give him that, but he's not the best. Even though he fucking acts like it.

It's the reason the girls are so scared of him. They think he knows best just because he's from France and well we all know Fashion Week in Paris is always extravagant. He claims to have been to a few. I do not believe him, but just because he might have a little more experience than us doesn't mean he gets to boss us around. Unluckily for him, his sketching is not as good as the three of ours. So while he decides on designs, we sketch. "I think a striped pattern would look amazing," he says with a thick accent. He motions for Stella to draw it onto the skirt.

She picks up the IPad pencil and does so, showing him right after. It's fine...mediocre at best. "Orrr.." I take the IPad from her and erase her design within the skirt. Quickly, I draw a skirt that's just a bit longer, flowy. It's simple but cute and definitely better than stripes. I turn it to them, "This. Simple, but still chic and fashionable!" I smile. Stella and Marie nod, while Von glares lasers at me. "It's really cute, Maddy," Stella voices. "It's basic." Von crosses his scrawny arms over his chest. I decide to be the better person and not respond with my usual ice.

"We could make a sweatshirt for the other option to pair it with. It could be a cute outfit. You'll be free to choose whatever the third item may be," I say. He stares at me for a long time before snatching the IPad away from me. "Fine," he starts "what kind of sweatshirt?" I try and hide my smile. Even the devil can be convinced sometimes.

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Reminder: $765 due by February 23rd.

What? Did my payment not go through already? I pull my laptop out and log into my college account.

$765 OVERDUE. No payment plan setup.

Are you kidding me? "You okay?" Natasha asks. I nod my head and then hop off my bed, "I'll be right back." I exit out the dorm and walk into the communal bathroom which is luckily empty. I dial my mother's number and press the phone against my ear. I have no idea why it says I have no payment plan but now I have to ruin my day to call her and ask why.

I've had a payment plan set up for months and now it's just gone all of a sudden. That's not a coincidence. The line clicks on the last ring. "Madison, I'm at work. What do you need?" I roll my eyes at the government name. "I got an email about how I haven't paid for part of the tuition this month and when I logged into my account, the payment plan was gone. Did you remove it?" I ask. Sadly, she holds this one power over me. She pays for my classes because I can't fully afford them yet.

"I removed my credit card, yes," she says. My eyes almost bug out of my head. "Without telling me, mother? Why?" I ask, frustrated as hell now. "I don't approve of the direction you're going in and therefore I'm not going to be paying for your classes. Not unless you start thinking about doing something that's worth your time and my money." I can't fucking believe what I'm hearing right now. Despite years of treating me like shit, I thought she'd at least have the heart to pay for my fucking school so that I could get a job and have an okay life. A life away from her.

But I guess that's too much to give for Mackenzie Hayes.

"Are you kidding me? And how am I supposed to pay for it?" I ask. I look in the mirror and my cheeks are stained pink, despite the lack of makeup I wear. It's from anger because right now that's the only emotion I'm feeling. "If you really want to continue taking the classes that you are, then you'll figure it out, right?" Her voice is cold like mine. Not as much though. She's always tried being intimidating, but she fails. "You're the worst mom on the fucking planet," I say and hang up. I don't even need to hear what she has to say. I truly don't care either.

My whole life it's been like this. The sad part is I started noticing the way she was with me when I was only five. She's never wanted a fucking child is what I'm starting to think. She treats me like an absolute menace in her life. It's safe to say that's what I see her as now. She can't redeem herself in my eyes ever. No matter how hard she would try. It's not like she would though, she hates me. I'm not even going to bother talking to my father either. She probably told him about this and I'm sure he agrees with her.

I log into my bank account to check how much money I have saved up. Despite loving to shop, I'm not completely terrible with my money. $3,324. Okay, that's fine for now I think. I can pay off my semester with this but then I'll be left with no money for anything else so I might have to get a job. A job. I haven't worked since high school where I was a waitress at this fancy Italian place everyone loved to come to. I don't mind finding a job, it's just I'm pissed at why I have to do it.

But I'll show her. I'll show them that I can live without them and be just as successful as I've always wanted to be. It might take me a while and a couple of failures before I'm where I want to be but I've never been one to give up. Especially when I know I'll get something good out of it and then be able to shit on people at the same time.

I'm actually kind of glad she's cut me off financially. Maybe this time she'll stay out of my life completely. God knows it was the last thing holding me close to her.

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