Infatuated (Unedited)

Chapter 13

"No. He can't be your father. How could he be without us knowing?!" He seemed overly frantic, now pacing the length of the pavement in front of us shaking his head continuously.

"Probably because he doesn't know I exist. My mother said they ended their relationship before she found out she was pregnant with me. By then she had no way to contact him."

Dave stopped pacing and looked me over just as intensely as before but this time it was from head to toe. I've seen many looks on this guy's face in the few years that I've know him but never this one. In a matter of seconds he's gone from a look of disbelief to one of hopeful then recognition before his brows lowered and his lips parted. "Why didn't we notice..."

I assumed he wasn't talking to me but rather himself so I decided it was best that I not say anything and just let him deal with his emotions. I can't say that I understand them completely but I think I have an idea of what he might be feeling considering minutes ago he was asking me out indirectly. Dave stood in front of me with one hand absently held over his mouth while the other falling loosely at his side. He's staring. Just staring at me until his eyes lower to the ground, "You want to meet him?"

I know he didn't mean to sound so bitter when he spoke but the emotion is there and can't be hidden. I didn't answer right away, not because of his tone but because this is something I've never considered. Of course as a child I would always ask my mother questions about him and ponder when I'd get to meet him but now that the opportunity is being presented to me there are more questions and concerns that I never considered.

What would he think of me, his daughter, working as a stripper? Not just any stripper but one working in his brother's bar? Also, what do you say to a man you've never known but have a genetic bond with? 'Hey, you're my Daddy. Love me please?' Not twenty plus years after the fact. It's silly to even have the notion that we'd have a normal father and daughter relationship now but sadly, I still want that. I would be surprised if he didn't say he needed a DNA test. That raises another question that I never gave thought to before this point. What if he's not my real Dad? I knew my mother as this woman that went all out for me and did what she had to do to play both roles as Mommy and Daddy but whose to say she wasn't with another man? I would never do anything to tarnish my mother's image but the fact remains that I wasn't there and let's face it, who would actually tell their child that more than one man could be their father?

I was looking at his face picking out the many different emotions but I'm sure mine are shining through just as brightly right now. I want to meet my father and any family that I may gain through him but I need some time to at least prepare for many different reactions.

"I can't...right now."

Dave, now looking as if he's received the worse news ever quirks his brow at me, "He's going to want to meet you when he finds out you exist."

"Then we need to make sure he doesn't find out just yet, now don't we?" I fired back instantly giving him my best serious face. I need this more than I've need anything. Just a little bit of time to prepare myself. Him saying he's going to want to meet me provides me with a little bit of comfort but still. He could very well meet me, look me in the eyes and say I'm not his. That would hurt. No doubt it would feel like the death of another parent and I can't handle that just yet

"It's been long enough, don't you think?" His retort was just as quick as my own.

"That's not the point. I said I'm not ready Dave so leave it alone!" I turned away from him only to be grabbed by my elbow. Without being too harsh I pulled away from him and started off down the street. Thankfully the rain has slowed to a slight drizzle. Still, I pulled my hood up over my head a little further to try to protect what's left of my straightened hair. As I approached the busy intersection that would take me the short two blocks to my highrise, I decided I didn't want to go home. Being along will only leave me with time to think and I can say right now that that thinking won't be positive. Somehow I'll come up with more reasons why I shouldn't meet the man that I've know as my father all this time.