Plans Of My Own

7. Hurting Everyone Around Me

Bella's POV

I was sitting at breakfast doing last minute reviewing for my midterm. I was a little nervous.. This test would end the 1st half of my senior year. I need an A to maintain my 4.0 GPA that I've kept since freshman year of college.

It was 11:30 and it was time for me to head over to my exam. On my walk to class my phone buzzed.

From: Tyler 💎😍😏🍕
Good luck today...even though you aren't going to need it!

"Aww how thoughtful of him" I thought to myself. He's the reason I didn't sleep last night and he has no idea.

To: Tyler 💎😍😏🍕
Aww thanks Ty! But, I do need all the luck I can get lol.

I turned off my phone and entered my classroom.

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4 hours later

That test gave me a headache. I'm so scared I didn't do well. I don't even remember studying half the stuff on the exam. I guess I'll know by Saturday morning if I passed.

Just before I can enter my dorm room I heard Brielle's door open behind me. "How'd it go?" I heard her question sounding a bit too happy. "Um I didn't study half the stuff on that test. I'm nervous to get my grade on Saturday. What has you so happy today?" I was getting me really curious considering she has a huge smile on her face.

"Jamie has been texting me since last night" she said jumping up and down while holding her phone to my face. "What the hell could you guys possibly be talking about for that long? Did you go to sleep last night? You don't look like you've slept." I said becoming concerned. It's not like Brielle to miss sleep. She doesn't give up sleep for anyone or anything.

"Um no I didn't sleep...but we've been talking about everything. Bella he's so funny and he's a total sweetheart. I've finally met someone who gets me!"she exclaims. You can see the happiness in her face. Her eyes were wide and she was smiling ear to ear. "Wow that's great Bri! Tyler texted me last night to make sure we got back okay and this morning before my test to wish me luck." I informed her. I was really happy for her.

She hasn't really talked to guys much since she broke up with Jacob. Jacob was her ex of 4 years. They broke up about a year ago. It wasn't a bad break up, like fighting or anything. They both agreed to it because they had separate ideas for the future. I could tell Brielle still loved him, but she knew it would never work out. It's good to see that she finally getting over him.

"Oh so he did decide to text you! Jamie said that he was unsure if he should text you last night. He wanted to make sure he didn't prevent you from sleeping because you were texting." She told me. I liked that he was respecting the fact that I was focused on school. He understood that my grades are so important. "He also said Tyler kept walking around last night because he couldn't sleep. Tyler wouldn't say why, but Jamie was 99.9% sure you were on his mind" well now I feel bad. Why would he even lose sleep over me? I'm not that special.

Unlike Brielle's last breakup, mine was horrible, miserable and left me pretty heartbroken. I can't talk about it...I never do...and I never will. It doesn't matter anymore. All that matters is the pain I get in my chest when I think about it. I don't feel like explaining. Just know that I don't trust the male population anymore.

"Oh...well now I feel bad that I kept him up. I don't want to give him any false hope or anything. This isn't good  Brielle." I finally answered. I feel horrible about him liking me so much. I really hope he doesn't care about me the way Jamie explained it to Brielle. I can't ever care for him in return. I know, I'm aware of how cruel that sounds, but I have to protect myself.