Plans Of My Own

31. MY Man

Bella POV

I woke up before Tyler and just sat up in bed. I watched him sleep so peacefully. His lips were slightly parts and his chest rose up and down. The pieces of his hair that were sticking up looked adorable. At the same time, his tattoos, strong shoulders and chiseled chest made him look so incredibly sexy.

I thought back to what Brielle said yesterday. I would have no problem waking up to my man every morning and falling asleep with him every night. But, should I really move in with Tyler when I know I'm moving to New York in six months? It would be wrong to allow him to get so attached. Every now and then I find myself debating if I'm doing the right thing or not. Am I leading Tyler on? Is it considered leading him on if I truly love him?

Tyler wrapped his arm around my waist and attempted to pull me down to the bed, but I didn't budge.

"What's wrong?", Tyler furrowed his eyebrows looking concerned. I just shrugged not knowing how to answer him. My chest tightened and my eyes burned as I tried to hold back my tears. Tyler sat up and pulled me close to him. I pulled away feeling really guilty.

"Brielle is moving in here", I said while looking down.

"And...", not understanding where I was going with this.

"And..I don't know. I don't want to be alone at school", Tyler's face dropped.

"Why can't you move here, too?", he starred at me looking disappointed. 

"I don't know Ty. I'm just not ready."

"We spend every free minute with each other and half your stuff is already here. You would be sleeping here 7 nights a week instead of 5. I don't see the big deal." He stood up.

"To be honest I don't know. What your saying makes sense, yet I don't know what I'm supposed to do? We said we would go slow with this relationship and we didn't", I put my head in my hands.

"So stop lying to me!", Tyler said harshly. The tears were just flowing out at this point.

"I'm not lying. What am I lying about?" I stood up facing him.

"Just say it, let me hear you say it! Say the real reason you don't want to move in is because you still plan on going to New York!" His voice raised and he was holding back tears, trying his best to remain tough, but it was impossible. "Bella I've done everything to make you happy! To make you want to stay with me. To make you love me the way I love you. I was patient with you because I knew how hurt you already were from your previous relationship. I can give you everything, yet you still want more." Tyler was crying in front of me. I didn't know what to say. I hated to see him so hurt. Little did he know I was hurting, too.

"Tyler, I told you. I told you the risks when we started dating. What you're asking from me is too much! You're making me choose between you and my career. I would never ask that of you! I know how much hockey means to you and I would never ask you to give that up!" I walked past him and down the steps.

On my way to the door he grabbed my hand, "how is it so easy for you to just walk out on me?". Tyler looked to hurt and I was the reason for all of his pain.

"Tyler! I'm hurting you, don't you see that I don't deserve you. I love you. I love you so damn much that I have pain in my chest when I think about how much you mean to me. I can't stand here and hurt the man that I love for my own selfish reasons. I'll leave. We will stop seeing each other. In six months I'll move to New York and you can get over me. You will find a girl who treats you the way you deserve, and don't worry, I know she will be gorgeous. This was never my plan Tyler. I never intended to hurt you. It's killing me to stand here and see those tears fall from your eyes." I walked up to him and kissed his lips one last time. I ran to my car, but he followed me.