Plans Of My Own

10. My Dark Past

We entered this cute little diner and were seated in a big comfy booth. Tyler ordered a burger and a chocolate milkshake. I decided that I only wanted a vanilla milkshake.

After we ordered Tyler folded his hands in front of him, leaned forward a little bit and gave me a huge smirk. He just stayed like that...staring at me. I gave him a look that questioned what he was doing and showed him that he was acting weird.

"Um what the fuck Tyler" I said, trying not to laugh. "What am I doing?" He questioned, continuing to smirk. He knew exactly what he was doing to me. "Tyler Paul Seguin why are you staring at me like that!?" I yelled in a whisper. "You're beautiful" he said. I felt myself blushing as a looked down at my lap.

"Oh and by the way...don't ever say my full name when you are in public! Waaait a minute! How do you know my middle name?" He said now laughing lightly.
Now I was really blushing. "Um Google" I responded quickly, hoping he wouldn't find it creepy. He chuckled and but didn't have the time to respond.

The waitress saved me when she brought us our food. "Enjoy" she said as she walked away from the table.

"Soooo... Do you want to tell me before or after you eat?" Tyler questioned. I knew he wasn't going to let this go.

"Um during I guess. I'll talk when I get the strength to not run out of here crying"

Tyler just reached his hand across the table and grabbed mine. He rubbed the back of my hand with his thumb. Again, with his touch, I calmed down. He pulled away to eat as I began to drink my shake.

His fries looked really good, so I stole one and dipped it in my milkshake. "Heyyy that was mine!" He said pretending to be upset.

"Have you ever done this?" I ignored his whining

"Yes, but not for a long time" he said as he began to try it.

"Alright, I guess I can say it now" I said starting to shake. "Go ahead you can tell me anything. You said you're scared of me. Before you say anything- I don't think it's me that you're scared of...it's the idea of me..or maybe you and me." he said grabbing my hand.

He's right again. I'm not scared of him. I'm scared of the past. I'm scared of what he could do. Scared of how bad he could break me. I'm trying to protect myself from something he won't ever do...hurt me.

"Well um I had a boyfriend named Michael. We dated from senior year through my first year of college. I loved him. I cared about him. I was loyal to him. But apparently he pretended to love me, pretended to care and pretended to be loyal. Throughout my senior year my friends began to turn their back on me. But he didn't. He was always there. I couldn't understand why they turned their backs." I paused and looked up at Tyler

"He promised he would be there for me. He promised everything would be okay. But it was all a lie that I was too stupid to believe. I came to Dallas for college, meanwhile he went to the community college. We were dating long distance for about a year. At the end of my freshman year I decided to go home a day early. I missed my parents, my twin brother, my older sister and most of all Michael." I felt tears start to build up. I sipped my shake and continue to steal Tyler's fries.

"I went straight to my house. I figured my parents would be working, Nico would be at baseball practice and my sister, Brook, would be out with her boyfriend. But, when I got home I heard something coming from upstairs... my room specifically. I shared it with Brook. I walked in to her and Michael... in bed together." I got a pain in my chest and a burn in my throat. Tyler looked angry and upset.

"I went crazy. I broke down. It killed me to see my sister, my best friend, with my boyfriend. They both betrayed me. I broke up with Michael and I refused to talk to my sister. I even refused to sleep in my own house. I stayed at Brielle's. I did go back home every once in a while though. When I did stay at home, I stayed with Nico. His room was in the basement. I didn't have to see my sister or my room if I stayed in his room." Tears were falling from my eyes and Tyler kept wiping them away.

"One day me and Nico came home from a day of shopping. He always knew how to make me feel better. But, when we returned home there was a pregnancy test on the island, in the kitchen. It couldn't be mine, it certainly wasn't my mothers and Nico had no idea where it came from. It was Brook's. She walked in the kitchen all happy...with Michael. My sister and my ex, who I still loved for some crazy reason, were having a baby. I ran out of the house crying, but Nico followed. He grabbed me before I can get off the porch and he hugged me. He didn't let go of me. I just cried and cried until I fell asleep." I looked up to see Tyler's eyes glassy and his jaw clenched. He squeezed my hand in his and stared at me.

"You don't have to continue if you don't want to...I get it"

"No no, I started and now I have to finish because it's not over yet." I said sucking up the pain and continuing.

"I woke up in my brothers room. He listened to me cry and scream for hours. He never left my side. I decided to go back to school a little earlier that summer, just to get away. But, I still couldn't figure out why my friends turned their back on me. Brielle eventually found out and told me. They caught Michael and Brook together. He was threatening them hoping they wouldn't tell me. They couldn't stand to look at me every day knowing what I didn't. So they stopped talking to me in all. Now, I continue to live my life pretending I wasn't hurt. Pretending that I would be okay after my sister betrayed me and was now happy with her husband and beautiful little boy." I said thinking I was done for now.

"Um wow I don't know what to say. The only thing I could say is that your asshole of an ex doesn't deserve you and your backstabbing sister doesn't deserve you either. But, I'm still here Bell. I'm not going any where. Yea your still pretty damaged by what they did to you, but I'm going to take care of you. I'll take care of you whether we are friends or something more. All that matters is that I'm not leaving and I will certainly never ever hurt you." He said sounding so genuine. He was being real and I was really beginning to trust him.

He called me Bell...only Nico calls me Bell.

"Can I ask how your parents feel about this whole situation?" He asked trying not to be insensitive.

"Um yea-well, they were really angry with my sister. They hate Michael. He broke our family apart. It's me and Nico versus Brook all the time. We don't talk to her. But, my parents still talk to her. They still love her even though she made some really bad 'mistakes'. I can't expect them to just drop her out of their lives. They also can't turn their backs on Mikey, their grandson. I can't even look at Mikey because I want to vomit every time. Not because I don't like him. Because, he reminds me of everything that happened. In all honesty, he's such a good boy and he's so loving... So adorable. It just sucks that his parents are shitty people and that they are the reason his aunt and uncle aren't alway around. In my eyes, she broke out family apart not Michael. Michael just broke me." I said finally finished. It actually felt good to get the full story off my chest.

"I feel a lot better now that I got that all out. Sorry if you want nothing to do with me. Thanks for listening though. You never have to see me again after tonight." I said holding back tears because I wasn't ready to let Tyler go.

"I guess you don't know too many people that keep promises. I'm still here and I'm not leaving." Tyler said forcing a smile to hide his anger.

He paid the bill, took my hand and we got in the car. He wasn't driving toward the college though. "Ty, where are we going?" I asked. I looked around and realized that I didn't recognize these streets.

"We are going back to my house. We didn't talk about anything fun. So, we are going to sit in my living room and have a good conversation. One that makes you happy. Then we will drive you back to your dorm or you can stay the night. Which ever you feel comfortable with. I just want to see you smile a little longer than you cried tonight." He looked over at me very seriously. I felt my heart begin to swell.

Everything he just said made me so happy. I actually smiled a real smile. "Thank you for making me smile Tyler"

"No problem. I want to see you smile every day. Now, Brielle told Jamie that you have the rest of your life planned out and I want to here it" he said smiling a big cheesy smile at me.

"Okay, I told you my dark past. I guess I have to tell you about my bright future. It's all in my plans"

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Okayyyy! So we finally understand Bella's past. We just saw her open up more than she ever has.

She still has a wall though.

Any ideas on Bella's plans?