Vulnerable (Zayn Malik AU)

Chapter 7

"What do you want." I asked. Why is he here? I'm not going to play games like this anymore.

"I figured we should work on our project...." He rubbed his neck nervously, and I noticed the bag he had slung over his shoulder. All of the guys at my school either carried their books and just mooched off of others for pencils, or they wore a plain Jansport backpack. Not Zayn. He had a brown leather messenger bag...it looked hot if you ask me. Then again, he could make anything look hot.

"Lilly can you go wait in my room, please." I said as I shut the front door.

"No that's ok. I should probably get going. Thanks for helping me, though." She said and went to gather her things. I wish she would stay, honestly. I don't wanna be left alone with him. Not right now.

"Knock that smile off your face. I'm not happy with you." I snapped at Zayn.

"You two kids play nice, now." Lilly said as she opened the front door.

"Bye, Lil." I locked it behind her and turned to Zayn again. "Alright fess up. What's your problem."

"I don't have a problem...?" His eyebrows furrowed.

"Then why don't you talk to me at school? Did that kiss mean nothing to you? I mean, what is this?!" I gestured between the two of us.

"Come here." He said reaching a hand out to me.

"No." I crossed my arms.

"Can we sit on the couch then?" He asked, laying his bag on the floor.

"Fine." I pushed past him and sat on the furthest end of the couch, but of course he sat as close as possible, our legs slightly touching as we both sat sideways.

"It meant everything."

"What?"

"The kiss. It meant everything."

"What? It didn't seem like it, Zayn! Why do you keep ignoring me?!" I couldn't help but yell. He was so frustrating.

"I'm ignoring you for your own good! You don't wanna be seen talking to the likes of me, Daisy."

"Zayn what the hell are you-"

"I'm just the terrorist kid with a weird accent. Nobody ever wants to be seen with me. I get that. I'm ok with it after all these years. I knew when I came back nothing would change, and I'd have to be used to still not having friends. And, I kind of forced myself upon you...I'm sorry. But I like you, and I like seeing you. Even though it has to be in private I'm just happy to see you." I looked at him in awe. Does he not realize that every girl in school is fawning over him? Half the guys would even go gay for him. He's that good looking.

"You're wrong." I said.

"No I'm not."

"Zayn. You're wrong." I couldn't believe the words that came out of his mouth. Stupid kids bullied him long enough that he started to believe what they were saying.

"How can you say-"

"First of all, you're not a terrorist. I know freshman year there were a bunch of douchebags that made fun of you, but I wasn't one of them. I always admired the fact that you ignored it. I thought you were brave for putting up with it, and when you left I felt terrible that I didn't do anything."

"I knew you didn't hate m-"

"Stop. I'm not done." I put my hand up. "I'm not embarrassed by you. No girl in their right mind would be embarrassed by you. Do you know how unbelievably attractive you are?" He laughed. "You're so sweet...and gentle with me. I seriously admire it. And even if everyone in school still looked at you the way they did freshman year, I honestly wouldn't care. I'd flaunt you like crazy." We were both laughing. I couldn't help shake something from my head... "If you were afraid to embarrass people, why did you talk to Kendall..."

"She called me over. I dunno. I guess I just didn't want to be rude. And I know her reputation. She gets with every guy. I'd love to be the first one she doesn't get her hands on." He laughed and I couldn't help but feel relieved. He didn't like Kendall.

"And, how do you know Christian?"

"What? How'd you-"

"You showed up with him to Franky's on Friday....and I'm assuming you came to the party with him. How do you know him?" I pried.

"Well..when I started to homeschooling, the first week I had to go to this building to pick up assignments, and he was there for tutoring. We just started to chat and kinda got on. He invited me to chill and so I did. He was my first friend here even though I'd lived here for a year already." That made me feel bad. 

"Wasn't he friends with all the jocks that picked on you, though?" My memories of Christian going to Jackson High were slim to none, but I did remember what crowd he used to hang out with.

"He was. I don't think he recognized me. He never directly picked on me. He's always been a jerk though. I just kinda tolerate it." I nodded. I didn't really know what else to say. I wanted to tell him that he shouldn't be friends with someone he has to tolerate, and that it's better to have no friends than have bad ones. I wanted to know so much about him, but I felt like I'd picked his brain enough. "Dais?" He asked, tilting my head up.

"Hmm." I was lost in my thoughts.

"You didn't think I was like... embarrassed of you or anything right?"

"I did actually. I thought you were ashamed to talk to me in public..."

"That's ridiculous." He reached for my hand, and I pulled it away from his reach into my lap.

"Not really. I'm actually used to it."

"How?" His eyebrows showed his annoyance.

"I only have one friend...? Not many people talk to me. Ever. And when they do, it's because they need help on homework or something. I don't know. I don't really let it bother me, because I like to keep to myself anyway."

"You had a ton of friends freshman year..."

"There's a difference between friends and acquaintances. I don't want to talk about them, I removed them from my life for a reason." He nodded, respecting my wishes.

"You know...I think you're pretty great."

"Yeah, well you don't really know me so we'll see how long that feeling lasts." I laughed.

"I'm sure it'll only get stronger." He leaned in, his eyes not losing contact with my own.

"How do you always sound so sure of yourself..." I tried to look away. I tend to get lost in his eyes, and I wasn't going to allow that to happen again.

"Hope." I turned back to him and he leaned impossibly close. "I'm not sure. But I just have this feeling....that the only way my feelings can grow are stronger. And I don't have a sure way to back it up...but I just have a feeling. A hope, sort of feeling."

I leaned forward and met him in the middle, crashing my lips onto his. Unlike last time, the kiss was needy. Not on his part, but on mine. I needed him. Not in a physical way, but mentally. He said all the right things, and put my mind at ease.

I reached my hands up to cup his neck and deepen the kiss. His hands traveled to my hips and pulled me onto his lap. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, and he fell backwards onto the couch. My legs straddled both sides of his hips as I untangled my arms allowing him to rest his head. I broke the kiss, needing a breath.

"Wow." He breathed and I laid my head on his chest.

"Wow." I repeated what he said.

After minutes of heavy breathing and me syncing my breaths with the slowing beat of his heart, he spoke up.

"We really should work on our project."

"Oh... Yeah. My stuffs in my room. C'mon." I said getting off of him.

"You're sure that's alright with your parents?" He asked, sitting up.

"Yes. Lets go." He hesitated, but eventually grabbed his bag and followed me down the hall.

Upon reaching my room he poked his head in before completely stepping inside.

"You have a nice room." He said, examining every inch and invading my privacy.

My room had always been a representation of my mind. The wall directly to the right, that the door opens onto, was completely covered in random paintings and other art things I've done. The wall furthest from the door with a window had little post it's filled with inspiring quotes and just things that helped me push on. The wall to the left was the wall my bed was against, my black headboard right in the center.

"Why that?" He asked, pointing to the quote above my headboard that was cut from magazine pages. 

"'When the power of love, overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.' It's my favorite quote by Jimi Hendrix. Just kinda keeps me grounded. Reminds me that it is actually ok to follow your heart, rather than your mind...I don't know. That's how I interpret it, anyway." He turned back to me.

"You're something else..." He said shaking his head, a small grin appearing on his lips. "What's that?" He asked, pointing to the far left corner of my room.

"Oh, that's pictures of Lilly and I." I had a string of fairy lights zig-zagged down the corner of my adjoining walls, and I'd attached pictures of Lil and I throughout the years by using clothes pins.

"That's creative." He smiled. "Did you do all of these?" He asked, pointing to my wall of art.

"Yes, sir." I joked, taking a seat on the foot of my bed.

"And what about this mirror?" He asked, turning to my closet. The wall across from my post-it's was only visible when you stepped into the room. My closet doors were two, large, sliding mirrors that I'd used expo markers to write on.

"Words of encouragement." I say.

"What are you encouraging?"

"Myself. Just a few little reminders." He leaned in to read some.

'Everyone's prettier with a smile.'
'Your looks don't define you.'
'Act nice and look happy.'
'Joy is the best makeup.'
'Imperfections create character.'

He read a few of them aloud, then turned back to me again. "Why don't any of them say how beautiful you are..."

"Zayn don't be ridiculous."

"No, Dais I mean it." I put my hand up, not wanting to hear any empty compliments.

"Let's get started on that project." He opened his mouth to speak again, but thankfully he gave up. "I haven't done much...I figured we'd both just fail it because you didn't wanna talk to me."

"Well, I laid out what I can get with my budget. I make $600 a week."

"What?! I only make $200!"

"Well then how about I just pay for everything and you sit pretty." He laughed.

"No. That is the most sexist....I'll pay for..." I thought for a second. There really wasn't much I COULD pay for. "I'll pay for gas and my clothes. You can handle the bills..."

"I'll handle bills, groceries, my clothes, toiletries, and any extra thing your little heart desires." He said pinching my cheek.

"We're definitely going to fail."

"How?! We have everything paid off, and we should still have money left over."

"Zayn you're looking at this like we're a couple. We're supposed to just be roommates that pay for ourselves individually. And we were supposed to go by day...you're practically going by month."

"Here. Just take my notes and copy them. If Trig asks or complains, I'll explain everything." I took a deep breath. I really didn't understand how he was going to get us out of not working together. We're screwed.



•••••



Naaaaants ingonyama bagithi Baba,
Sithi uhm ingonyama


My same old alarm sounded, and I instantly rolled over to slide open my phone. I didn't remember falling asleep. I remembered Zayn leaving, I remembered taking a shower, and I remembered copying Zayns notes...but nothing after that.

I threw my comforter off, and kicked my feet over the edge of the bed. As I went to stand, my right foot came into contact with a crinkling object. My notebook. Crap.

I picked it up and looked for Zayns, finding it safely secured on my nightstand. I didn't finish copying it. Oh well, I'm sure he'll let me keep it a bit longer, I thought.

I opened my closet and pulled out one of my new outfits. I grabbed my black, high-waisted shorts, palm leaves jumpsuit, and my old pair of black converse. Easy enough for school, and thankfully the short sleeves of my jumpsuit were thick enough for our dress code. 

I sat in front of my mirror/closet, and decided my makeup for the day. The words written in front of me usually made me want to wear all the makeup in the world, but for some reason, I actually felt inspired. They were finally doing their job. I grabbed my bb cream and covered my face, leaving my eyes makeup-free. I looked like I wasn't wearing any makeup at all, but I was. I definitely wasn't confident enough to walk into a highly populated place such as school with no makeup on.

I heard the front door open just as I finish putting on deodorant and spritzing my neck with perfume.

"You almost ready?" Lilly called.

"Yeah. Make me a bagel, would ya?" She didn't answer, but the shuffling in the kitchen was confirmation enough.

I took one last look at my outfit, actually happy, and grabbed my plain old tan backpack.

"Well don't you look lovely." Lilly smiled as I walked into the kitchen.

"Thank you, ma'am." I grabbed the bottom of my shorts and curtsied jokingly.

"Forgot something." She said as she smeared cream cheese onto my bagel, I just stood there waiting for an explanation. "Your hair is still in a bun, dude."

"Oh! Thanks." I reached up and untied my hair, letting my natural curls fall where they may.

"All the years I've known you, and it still pisses me off that that shits natural." She said gesturing to my hair.

"I'm sorry..."

"Here, princess. Now lets go." She said sarcastically and handed me my bagel. "Wouldn't want you to be late at being early."



•••••



"Goood morning, you two! Early as usual I see!" Mr. Trig greeted us just about as annoying as always.

"Morning." Lilly and I called back lazily.

We shuffled to our desks and I pulled out Zayns notebook, ready to give it to him when he walked in.

"So I gave you enough time to wake up. Spill."

"What?" I turned to Lilly.

"Why'd Zayn come over yesterday? What happened? Tell me EVERYTHING."

"Well...he wanted to work on the project. You heard him." She rolled her eyes at my answer.

"C'mon, Dais. You and I both know there was more to it."

Was there? Did he come over for more than just the assignment? I mean...I was the one who asked what was wrong...I kissed him...I don't think he came for anything but the project.

"No, really." I said, shooting down her theory.

"So you're telling me you got Zayn Fucking Malik in your house and all you did was homework?"

"No...I mean...I asked him what his problem was...and we kissed but-" I was interrupted by the bell ringing, but before I could continue, she spoke.

"You. What."

"It was nothing. Just a little smooch." I blushed.

"Right. I can tell by your tomato-red cheeks that it was nothing." People began to pile in and I shushed her. Obviously the conversation wasn't over, but nobody else needed to hear it. "Why doesn't he talk to you at school..." She whispered and I just shrugged. He told me why, but I was hoping his ridiculous insecurity was over.

The fact that he thought I'd be embarrassed by him was absurd. I don't have a reputation or anything..I've never cared about what people think of me. Honestly, I regret not being Zayns friend freshman year when he had no one...I made so many mistakes that year. I could've made him feel better when he got bullied...helped him through it all. I don't even want to think about it. I feel terrible for what was said to him then, and all I did was watch.

Just as the late bell rang, Zayn came walking through the door. He always made it just in time...I would be freaking out if I had cut it that close.

He took a seat and slid his jacket onto the back of the chair. As my nerves grew and I became impatient waiting for him to greet me, I came to the conclusion that nothing had changed.

Yesterday meant nothing. You know what? I'm done trying. I reached for his notebook to hand it back, and he turned to me.

"Good morning." He smiled.

"Wh-...morning." I handed him his notebook.

"Did you get everything down?" He asked, skimming his notebook.

"No."

"You can hold it until you do." He smiled again and handed me his notebook. I took it hesitantly. "Are you alright?" He asked.

"Yeah...I uh...I thought you were going to ignore me again."

"Only if you want me to, Dais." My stomach fluttered.

"I don't."

The rest of class Mr. Trig put on a video about the way big businesses are behind the scenes. This class is so boring and pointless to me. I don't really know what I want to do with my life, but this definitely isn't it. All of the men and women involved with our economy are slimy...from what I've seen in this class anyway. I don't know. Maybe I'll just move into the woods and live off of nature. That doesn't sound too bad, really.

I got lost in my own thoughts. Once the video was over, Mr. T asked us to write a little summary in our notebooks for homework. The bell rang shortly after, so there wasn't much time to write in class.

I gathered my things and stood up. As I put on my backpack I realized Zayn was staring at me.

"I figured we could walk to class together." He smiled as he adjusted the strap of his leather bag.

"I'd love that."

"Ma lady." He joked and stuck his elbow out, offering for me to hook my arm through it. Instead I swatted it and walked past him. He laughed and caught up to walk with me to ceramics.



•••••



After a lovely period of helping Zayn with his alien, and a boring hour in Creative Writing, it was time for Advanced Ceramics. I walked in to see Ms. Fay for the second time of the day. She was always much more relaxed in the advanced class, because we all knew what we were doing. She actually got to sit at her desk for more than 5 minutes.

I gave Ms. Fay a nice smile and put my bag on the table in front of her desk. 'Creepy Paul' was already at the corner, picking at the skin on his arm. I couldn't help but feel bad. He reminded me of Zayn in the sense that he had no friends. Nobody called him derogatory terms or bullied him, but everyone completely avoided him. I just felt like he deserved a nice word.

"Hey, Paul." I smiled and pulled up a stool at the opposite end of the table. He jumped and looked at me wide-eyed, his open mouth revealing his 3 teeth and chronic halitosis.

"H-hi..." He looked away just as quickly as I had gotten his attention and pulled his backpack to his chest. I think I scared him. Shoot.

I was about to make sure he was ok, but was distracted by the person who had walked through the door. "Where the heck have you been?!" I asked.

"What do you mean..." Franky said as he sat at our table.

"Uh, hello?! You ditched me on Monday! And you weren't here for me to chew you out the last couple days. Where have you...is your eye ok?" He turned his head enough to reveal his left eye. He obviously tried to cover something. It wasn't swollen, but there was light makeup over some deep purple circles under his eye.

"I'm fine." He tried to smile, but I could see right through it.

"How'd that happen?" I asked.

"I'm just clumsy. And about leaving on Monday, my dad called me and said it was urgent, so I rushed home. Sorry." Good thing I ended up not going to his house...if I had walked in on an emergency I would've been so embarrassed. I decided not to press the issue any further. I was sure that emergency was why he'd missed the following days as well.

"It's okay."



•••••



I had an incredibly awkward class with Franky. He didn't talk to me, and I didn't know what to say, so we just sat there silently. When I walked outside, Zayn was sitting on a bench waiting for me.

"You just gonna walk me to every class?" His tongue pressed to his teeth as he showed me my favorite smile.

"I figured since we have every class together, it's only right."

"How noble of you." I teased.

"I try." He shrugged.

We walked into Peer Resource, and Mrs. Smith told us were going to visit the Special Needs kids. She told us on the first day we would be visiting them once a week. I admired her for making us do it. I wasn't sure if it was her idea to visit them, but she seemed happy about it. Mrs. Smith is one of the younger teachers at school. She's not very tall, even compared to me, and she has short brown hair. She could honestly fit in as a student if she really wanted to.

"If you'll follow me, we'll head across campus. Take your things. Keep in mind, they are special, but don't like to be called that. Their classroom is called the 'county kids room'. That's what we will refer to them as all year. Just try not to call them anything to their faces ok? We're only here to keep them company." She explained as we walked to the county room.

"I'm really excited for this." Zayn said next to me.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. This is why I signed up for this class. I love the county kids. I ate lunch with them all of freshman year. They didn't judge me like everyone else did. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't have lasted the year." I had to fight some tears that snuck into my eyes while he spoke. So sincere and loving... I'd never met any of the county kids, but I had seen them get off of their bus in the morning. They all looked so sweet.

As we walked into the classroom, they were all sitting in their own desks - each desk with a picture of themselves and their name so they knew where to sit.

"Hello! Guys say hi!" A man I assumed was their teacher announced at the front of the classroom. All of the kids sent us a cheerful hello. "The kids have picked their own activities. Some are going to head to the football field and play some games." Too much energy. "Some are going next door to play board games." That could work. "And the rest will stay in here and paint." That has me written all over it. "If you guys could split up and pick a station, that'd be great." He smiled at us.

"Well I'm always down for a good board game!" Mrs. Smith shouted and the kids cheered as they followed her to the next room, along with some of my classmates.

"Whoever is going to the field...follow me!" The man shouted and grabbed a box full of frisbees, footballs, and other various items. The quantity of kids left in the classroom was small, but I was glad Zayn had stayed by my side.

"Zayn!" One of the kids called running to his side. Most of the county kids are quite small, even though they're just as old as every other high school student.

"Ronnie! Hey buddy!" Zayn bent down to hug him.

"You haven't come in awhile!" Ronnie said.

"I know. I'm sorry, man. How was your summer?"

"Same as usual. A lot of swimming and sleeping."

"Whataya say we go paint, yeah?" Ronnie nodded and pulled Zayn over to an open table. I realized I was just standing there when I girl came up to me.

"Hi." She said sweetly.

"Hello." I smiled. "What's your name?"

"I'm Jessie." She rocked on her heels. "You're very pretty." She whispered. Tears began to swell up in my eyes, again. 

"Well, Jessie. You wanna know a secret?" I dropped down to her level. "Someone special once told me that beauty is a thing of the mind."

"What does that mean?"

"I think it means, that people are only as pretty on the outside as they are on the inside."

"Then you must have a very pretty heart."

"Not as beautiful as yours."