Vulnerable (Zayn Malik AU)

Chapter 19

I walked to my room and sat on my bed, not really knowing what to do with myself.

Is he mad at me? It wasn't my fault... This is why I'm not a party person. I should've never even tried to be this person. I actually get a nice guy in my life and now some jerk may have ruined that. Since when do so many guys throw themselves at me anyway?! I was single for three years and nothing happened, now all of a sudden I'm just the object of desire. That makes no darn sense.

I grew angrier by the second.

I removed my shoes and stared into the mirror that was my closet. I felt like I should cry...but I just couldn't. I needed to change out of my morph suit, but I didn't care enough to. I didn't feel like doing anything.

Instead of doing the things that actually needed to be done, I got up and retrieved my phone from my dresser. It sat there the whole party because my suit had no pockets, and I didn't want to keep it in my bra. Good thing I didn't keep it in the car like Zayn did with his...I probably would've forgotten it. I plugged it in and placed it on my nightstand.

I don't know how long I laid there, staring at the blank screen, waiting for a text that never came.



••••••



I'm woken up by the heat of the sun shining through my open blinds.

"Ugh. This suit is too much." I sat up, tugging at the material that stuck to my sweaty body.

I looked in the mirror at my messy hair, really wishing I had put it in a bun before bed. My eyes were heavy, being crusted over with last nights makeup. The closer I got to my mirror, the more I could see how smeared my eyeliner had become. Some could say I looked like a raccoon, but in my opinion I was just a hot mess.

I'd like to see a guy hit on me looking like this. I laughed at myself. The thoughts of last night only made my head hurt. I knew I wasn't hungover...I barely had anything. But just the thought of Zayn being mad... Zayn!

I reached for my phone, hoping for even something as small as a 'hi', but was greeted with nothing...only the time, reminding me how late I had slept. It was back: that empty feeling.

I put my phone back down, taking another look in the mirror, as if anything had changed. I fell back onto my bed, the yearning of sleep overpowering everything else.

"No." I said out loud. "Gotta shower." I sat up, groggily rubbing my eyes, groaning as I trudged to the bathroom.

I peeled my costume off of my damp skin as the shower warmed up. I dragged a comb through my hair the best I could, until it snapped against the unforgiving knots. "Of course." I sighed and pulled any plastic bristles I could find out of my locks before climbing into the shower.

No amount of steam or hot water enveloping my body could make me feel better. Why am I so drained? I thought. This boy who wasn't even in my life three months ago is all of a sudden the only thing that keeps me going? How pathetic, Daisy. You need to get your crap together. I scorned myself.

I scrubbed my skin clean, trying to wash off every last bit of the previous night. It didn't seem to be working.

I turned off the shower, wrapping a towel around my head, and one around my body. The steamed bathroom became overwhelming, making it hard to breathe. I walked into my room and plopped onto my bed. I laid there so long that both of my towels were nearly dry by the time I sat up.

I reached for my phone again, hopeful, but found nothing. I chose to dial Lilly's number, assuming she would ignore me as well. We didn't exactly leave on good terms.

The phone rang five times. Just as I was going to hang up, it stopped. "Hello?" Lilly's voice said on the other end.

"Lil. I need you." She hesitated before speaking again. I was convinced she was still too mad.

"Give me ten minutes." She sighed and hung up the phone.

I sat up from my bed, removing both of my towels. I laid one of them down, taking a seat on my floor. I wasn't ready for clothes just yet.

I brushed through my unruly hair, more miserable than ever. It felt like years since I'd actually brushed my own hair, and I really didn't miss it. Maybe I should get a haircut. I pondered the thought. My hair is too long. Who wants their hair to touch the ground, I scoffed.

I pulled my hair back into a loose pony tail, avoiding any pressure to my tender head. I stood up, still feeling drained, and threw on one of Zayns sweatshirts. This isn't weird right? I shook the thought and moved to my dresser. I pulled out one of my new thongs, and a pair of yoga pants. I actually enjoyed how much better they looked without a panty line.

I laid back onto my bed, feeling exhausted, when a knock fell upon the door. I wasn't used to letting Lilly in. She always had a key. I almost made a comment about it as I opened the door, but I didn't want her to ask for her key back. It had a new owner, despite its current position being the key bowl by the door.

"What's wrong?" She asked immediately.

"Come in." I moved aside, shutting the door behind her.

"You know, I almost didn't come." She crossed her arms and sat on the couch.

"I figured. I was surprised you said yes, actually." I stated before sprawling onto the couch myself.

"You pissed me off. I mean, how would you feel if I said Zayn hit on me? That's just not funny."

"It wasn't a joke, Lil."

"You really expect me to believe my boyfriend would hit on my bestfriend? He's not the brightest crayon in the box, but he's not that dumb."

"Technically he didn't know it was me the first time." I paused, realizing she didn't know about our second encounter that night.

"First?"

"Uh...Mik kissed me last night." I chewed the inside of my cheek, nervous for her reaction.

"I don't believe you! You're so full of it!"

"Lilly! Why would I lie about this?! I think we both know I wouldn't do that to you!"

"He wouldn't cheat on me." She practically growled.

"According to him, he doesn't have anything to cheat on. He told me he doesn't have a girlfriend."

"Oh yeah fucking right!" She stood up. "You're so full of shit, Daisy!"

"I mean it, Lilly! I wouldn't make this up!"

"Yes! Yes you would! You're that pathetic! You have nothing good going for you so you want to ruin the one thing I've got going. That's bullshit!"

"Nothing good?! Do I need to remind you that I had a boyfriend BEFORE you?! One that doesn't cheat on me?! One that tells me he loves me? And takes care of me?!"

"Sure you have a boyfriend. But, what about your precious mother? Surely you'll follow in her footsteps. Or will it be your fathers? Just become a whore, after all it is the Toomey way."

"Get. Out."

"Gladly. Do me a favor, delete my number. Just burn anything you have of mine. I'll be sure to do the same."

And with that she was gone. She was gone, and I was in tears.

"What the hell was that all about?" My dad startled me from the stairs. "Are you crying?" He tightened his robe and came to my side, pulling me down onto the couch.

I wrapped my arms around him, ignoring the strong scent of cigars that lingered in his presence. We sat like that for awhile, my tears just rolling down his silk attire.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" He asked quietly.

"I don't know how." I whimpered.

"Was that Lillian?" He asked and I nodded. "And you two were fighting?" I nodded again and he rubbed my back. "About....school?" I shook my head. "Boys?" I didn't move. "You're really gonna throw away a friendship of...what? Fifteen years?" I nodded. "You're gonna throw that away because of some dudes? Whatever happened to chicks before dicks."

"It's not like that, dad."

"Then explain."

"She got a boyfriend, and he kissed me, but she doesn't believe me. She thinks I'm making it up." I sat up, wiping my face free of tears.

"And are you?"

"No! Why would I make it up?!"

"I don't know? Girls are fuckin' weird." He chuckled. "Does the dweeb know about this kiss?"

"Yeah....he knocked the guy out."

"Really?! Atta boy!" He pumped his fist. "How'd Lilly not know her boyfriend got knocked out?"

"I...I don't know...that's a good question, actually." I thought about it for a moment. "Well there were a lot of people there. Someone probably helped him, and she probably didn't even know he got hit...I have no idea."

"Oh so it was a party?" I nodded. "It all sounds hella stupid if you ask me." He shrugged. "Where's your boy?"

"He uh...he hasn't talked to me. At all."

"Since when?"

"Last night. He didn't even say anything after that guy kissed me..."

"What a tangled web you weave, my dear." He laughed and rubbed my knee.

"I'm gonna go to bed."

"It's like 3, dude." He stated, confused.

"I don't feel like doing anything else so..."

"Ah. I see. I've been in that place before." He stood up with me and pulled me in for a hug. "Goodnight, loser."

I nodded, walking past him before he stopped me.

"Excuse you. I said goodnight."

"Night." He have me a look, knowing I knew what he wanted. "Ugh. Goodnight, fucker." I groaned. "Thanks, dad." I tiptoed, planting a kiss on his cheek.

"Anything for my favorite girl." He smiled. "And if that dweeb gives you trouble, you know who to come to." He winked.

"Sure thing." I smiled, heading to my room. "Oh! Don't forget I need a note, please."

"Oh, I wrote it. It's in my room. I'll put it on your dresser later."

"Thanks."

"I don't want you skipping with this guy to become an all-the-time thing. You still have to graduate."

"Don't worry, dad. I know what I'm doing." I assured him, then walked away, really needing the conversation to end. I had to ignore the fact that he wasn't just some 'guy'. He was a boy I was beginning to fall for...a boy I said the L word to...a word I've only used on three people in my life, one - now two - of which betrayed me. But, my dad didn't need to hear all of the details.

I stumbled into my bed, not even wasting the energy I had left to check my phone.