October 2 2014

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On Monday Andy told me he liked me. I mean, before then we had told each other, like a month before, but still. This was the first time he told me in a statement:
"Ali, I like you."

We were on the phone- I was in my bed, it was late- I was supposed to be sleeping. It was maybe ten or eleven, but no later than that. We were off the phone before that. I was getting tired, and when I get tired, I say stuff. I told him, I like his face.

"I like your face."

And you know what he said?

"It's impossible to like someone this much. It's more than like."

I've already told him I don't believe in love, and as soon as he said that, I denied it. But he said,
"You love me."

We started talking about feelings, and I told him a guy who is open about them is much more attractive than one who hides them. Which is true. I asked him,
"Do you even like me?"

He was all like,
"I was willing to walk you home. I can't go a day without talking to you. What do you think?"

But the truth was, I just wanted to hear him say it. So I told him. And he did. Being quiet became very difficult, and I became very awake. My heart began to best so fast and hard, and my breathing was faster and heavier than usual. And Andy could hear it. What's crazy is he knows me so well, he can tell when I'm smiling, even blushing. So when he told me for the first time, well, he called me out. I had stuffed my face in the pillow and he said,
"You're blushing."

I turned over, then he said,
"You're smiling."

Of course he was right, so I rolled over while playfully murmuring,
"I hate you."

His response:
"No you don't. You love me."

I could only respond with,
"I don't know... Maybe..."

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