the brain project [1]

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aidan

"aidan?" everett's eyes flutter, and he appears to be lost as his hands fumble mindlessly to run the hospital blanket along his fingers. "what happened?"

aidan's at a loss for words. the previous conversation from what the doctor said earlier pops back into his head. "...may experience confusion. he could forget entirely what happened."

"you tried to kill yourself, everett," he murmurs, his eyes watering. the lump in his throat won't budge.

"i..." everett wipes the tears from his eyes, too. "i'm sorry."

"don't be," aidan cups his face. the pain of seeing someone that means so much to him suffering is like an infection. "please don't apologize."

"my mom told me that i have to go away."

"away?" rage settles inside of him. "where the hell is away?"

"to get help, according to her, so probably a mental health clinic or psychiatric ward."

aidan doesn't know what to say, but he surprises himself. "she's looking out for you— i would have done the same thing."

"i need to start over," everett whispers, slipping his hands away from aidan's. "and i will, but the only thing holding me back from that right now is you."

right, he thinks. he should have seen this coming. "and that's okay."

"don't forget that even though we barely spent much of our time together as a couple, i love you. i loved you when i started to get to know you, i loved you when we were both in a relationship with other girls, and i loved you before i took those pills. i may not have many people that care about me, but knowing that you did, helped. but unfortunately, i'm still fucked up, okay?"

"don't say that," aidan shakes his head, and hastily wipes his wet face. "you aren't fucked up."

"yes, i am," everett forces a small smile. "but i can do my best to recover, to try to control these thoughts so i don't have to do it again, because aidan... all i thought about when i thought i was truly going to be dead... was that i didn't want to die. i had never felt so scared as i did then."

the door opens, and in walks everett's mother. she has a frown on her face, obviously trying to remain calm. kudos to her for trying, aidan thinks.

"goodbye, everett."

"goodbye, aidan."

when aidan walks out of the hospital now, he's no longer upset. all he wants is for everett to be okay, and he will be eventually, because things take time. and time will hopefully heal the quarterback, because everett deserves to be happy.