reminiscence

Twenty -Three

Trigger warning: rape. Don't read if that bothers you. It bothered me writing it so I understand but it's part of the story.

I stormed into the parking lot finding Hudson pacing.

"We're leaving" he grabbed my arm pulling me towards the car

"But our shifts aren't over Hudson"

"Tough" he throw me into the passenger seat before climbing into the drivers seat. He sped away down the highway before I could buckle myself in. "You were both out back, don't fucking lie, he needs to learn" He mumbled. I wasn't sure If he was ranting to me or himself.  I could tell his anger was building. His grip on the steering wheel tightened when he glanced over to me. "Did you kiss him?"

"NO!" I screamed "why can't you believe me"

He reaches over slapping my face "Because you're a fucking slut. You wouldn't let me touch you but then go out back and make out with fucking pub boy" he said through his clenched teeth. I know I took it to far. I shouldn't fight back.

He pulled into the driveway swinging his door open. Storming over to the passenger side. He yanked me out of the car by my hand pulling me inside. He pulled me into the bedroom shutting the door behind him.

My eyes met his. Dark as usual. He stood in front of me unbuttoning his shirt not saying anything. I began walking away before being caught by Hudson.

"If you don't do this, it's because you don't love me" He picked me up and threw me on the bed. Taking his shirt off totally before hovering over me. Placing himself on top of me so I couldn't move.

"Hudson..." I was cut off by his lips being forced on mine. His hands quickly pulling down my shorts in a rage. Leaving me in my shirt and underwear.

I moaned as one of hands traveled under my shirt to breast squeezing slightly.

"No.. I don't"

"Shhhh" Hudson squeezed tighter causing me to gasp. "Don't you love me Bella?"

I felt tears fall down my face. "Yes but..."

He pushed my underwear to the side before sticking a finger into me. I groaned. Thrusting my hips as he pumped his finger.

"Doesn't this feel good babe" He stuck another finger into me making me cry of pain. I grabbed onto him digging my fingers into his back. I felt myself grow wetter with every stroke. I was so wrapped up in our movements I forgot what was happening.

"Fuck Bella" he breathed against my face as he moved his fingers faster
"you feel so tight"

My eyes filling up with more tears. He moaned pulling his fingers out and my panties completely off in one motion. He placed kisses down my chest as he fumbled with his pants. Kicking his pants and boxers completely off. "I need to feel you right now" he forced his hips to mine, connecting our lips again. I couldn't help but moan feeling him hard against my entrance .

"No" I pleaded into the kiss. But he didn't listen. He thrusted into me with no warning. I screamed in pain. His thrusting got quicker as he panted into my ear. Tears continuing to stream down my face. I wanted this to end. I tried blocking him out put the pain was to unbearable.

"Fuck babe you feel so good. " his words made me want to throw up but I still moaned as he sucked on my neck. His hands stroking my thighs as he kept forcing himself inside me. "I'm going to cum" he breathed out quickening his moments. His hands traveling up my sides. Gripping tightly leaving red marks instantly. He groaned hitting his high before pulling out of me. He climbed off me laying next to me.

"I love you Bella" Hudson pulled me close placing a kiss to my cheek "you're mine don't ever forget that"

I didn't get much sleep. I just started at the ceiling trying to wrap my head around what happened. My stomach twisted in a knot. I felt nauseated every time I thought of what happened last night. The images playing over and over again. I could see him, feel him, I pulled myself up running to the bathroom.  Just in time to empty my stomach. 

Was it my fault? I even enjoyed it at one point. I felt disgusted. I curled up in a ball on the floor letting myself cry. I never knew he could hurt me this much. For once there was few physical wounds and more  mental. And it hurt so much more. How could he do this to me? How could I let him? I should have fought harder. It was my fault. My head pounding.

I pulled myself off the floor and limped back over to bed. My body aches. I needed sleep. I pulling the covers back over me. Looking down at my finger at my promise ring. What ever happened to never hurting me again. I yanked the ring off and threw it on the floor. I reached over grabbing a pillow bringing it to my face and letting out a scream. He broke all the promises he made. I feel like an idiot I eventually cried myself to sleep.

"Bella! BELLS! Arabella!" I shot awake to pounding on the door. I looked at my phone realizing it was 10 o'clock and I was supposed to be at work. Shit.

I ran to the door swinging it open to see Niall standing on my porch. His lip swollen from last night.

"I so sorry let me just get ready and then..." I turned around quickly realizing I was only wearing my shirt and underwear.

"Bella, it's fine Connor called in a replacement" Niall interrupted me as I frantically made my to my closet.

"Oh shit is he mad?" I yanked my dresser open throwing clothing around searching for something to wear. I pulled out a pair of leggings pulling them onto my legs quickly. "He's going to fire me. I can't afford that" I brought my hands to my face pulling on my hair.

"Of course not Bella, he just sent me to make sure you're alright" he grabbed my hands pulling them away from my face. "And I can see you're not, calm down you're scaring me"

" I can't Niall!" I shouted pulling my hands out of his. Flailing my hands around. "I mess up everything in my life! My job, my relationship, my friendship with you! I'm pathetic"

"Bella stop! None of this is you fault" he pulled me into his arms trying to get me to calm down. But it wasn't working.

"Yes it is" I sobbed into his chest. Grabbing his shirt in my fist. Pounding against his chest.

He storked my hair and swaying us back and forth. "Shhh" He placed kisses to my head. Just what I needed to calm me down.  "I've never seen you like this before." He paused and stopped swaying us. Almost like a wave of realization feel over him  "it was Hudson wasn't it?"

I nodded into his chest.
"Fuck" he pulled away looking into my tear filled eyes. "Do you want to spend the night with me tonight?"
I quietly nodded burying my face back into Niall's chest. I for once made a decision for myself without thinking what would Hudson think. I needed a night away from Hudson.