It's complicated

30:

He looks like an angel when he sleeps. So peaceful, the world could end and he'd be so calm. As I was lying in bed it made me think of my plan to ruin Xavier.

I was gonna go through with it and if I had to ruin Emma as well I would. She stabbed me in the back, how could she? She was supposed to be my best friend. Thanks to yesterday and the time at the river I made new friends.

Lauren and Isabel attend the same school as me. And after having a great time with them we started a new friendship. Fuck Emma and Xavier.

"Hey beautiful. What's going on in that pretty little head of yours."

"It nothing really."

"Spill the beans."

"I'm just thinking about Em stabbing me in the back."

"She doesn't deserve your kindness. If she was a friend like she claimed to be she wouldn't hurt you that way."

"Your right that's why I'm gonna start hanging out with Lauren and Isabel."

"Have you seen the time?"

"Shit I over slept. I'm gonna be so late."

"I guess I'll see you later then."

"We'll see."

"I have to see you. I'm not done with you yet."

I got up and left for school. Nothing was gonna bring me down. I was gonna meet up with Lauren and Isabel. And if Emma thinks we're gonna be cosy then she's wrong.

As soon as I got to school I saw Lauren and them waiting for me.

"(Lauren) Hi Claire. You made it. I was scared you weren't gonna attend."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world."

"(Isabel) You girls ready to go to class?"

"(Claire) Yeah let's go."

Whispers could be heard all through the halls as we made our way to class. I passed Em and she stopped me. Of course her and Xavier were holding hands.

"(Lauren) We'll meet you at class."

"Hi Claire how you doing."

"As if you care."

"Are you angry at me or something?"

"Em I'm sorry but we can no longer be friends."

"Why not?"

"Because you're a backstabbing bitch and we ain't got time for those around here."

"So that's it your gonna pick Lauren and Isabel above your life long friend."

"Yes I am Em because you see you used to be my friend. So I guess your an ex life long friend now. Enjoy your life, you can have him all you want. You guys belong together anyway."

"(Xavier)Seriously Claire. What is wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me? Geez let me think. I'm tired of your bullshit Xavier and I'm surely tired of Emma's."

"I know I've hurt you but taking it out on Emma doesn't help."

"Oh look your crying. Water works won't work honey. Save them for someone who cares!"

I stepped closer to Xavier.

"And Xavier when I'm done with you. You'll regret ever fucking with me."

"You started it Claire, remember."

"Well I'm gonna end it."

"May the..."

"I'm done talking to the both of you, bye."

I turned on my heals and walked to class. I didn't need their bullshit and I didn't need Emma crying either. She's so stupid sometimes thinking that if she cries I'm gonna feel sorry for her.

The rest of the day was pretty quiet. Lunch was interesting, Emma wanted to sit with us and we all told her to leave. Once again she started crying.

What did she expect? Oh I'm gonna stab my friends in the back but it's okay we'll still be friends after all of this. Hell no, I'm done with that, she dug a hole for herself and now she's gonna have to get out of it.

We were at rehearsal and I must say it went smooth. Xavier and I worked together perfectly even though we weren't really speaking at all.

After rehearsal I grabbed my things and made my way home. I had to get ready, Donovan was taking me out.

"You need to lay of Emma's back."

"Could you do me a favor and leave me alone."

"I'm serious there's no need to hurt her and be harsh on her. I kissed her first. She would never just kiss me and you know that."

"I don't care she could of  pushed you away. She stabbed me in the back and for that I can't forgive her or you(pokes him with a finger on his chest). I'm sorry but it is what it is."

"Be harsh on me, lay of on her I'm not gonna ask you again."

"And if I don't, what are you gonna do about it?"

"Claire I'm only gonna ask you once, lay of Emma. She's done nothing but be a good friend."

"You can't tell me what to do."

I went behind stage and was about to leave when he grabbed my wrist. Please don't do this right now. I've just started forgetting about him and now here we are.

"Let go of me."

"You just can't stop being a stubborn bitch can you?"

I slapped him through his face and he pushed me up against the wall.

"If you ever do that again, I won't hesitate. Do you hear me!"

"Ah help me I'm so scared."

"Stop it!"

"My legs are literally shivering from fear."

I pushed him away from me and tried walking away but he got hold of my wrist again.

"We're not done with this conversation yet!"

"Could you let go of me!"

He pushed me up against the wall and our lips collided. Damn you. I hate him but at the same time I can't help loving him.

"Let go of me."

"Lay of Emma."

"I hate you. Why? Why do you have to do this ever single time? I want to leave you alone so badly. I want to stay away from you but you just can't seem to let me go can you. Is it that hard for you?"

"It's like getting handed drugs for the first time in your life. You know taking them means you'll get addicted but still you do it anyway. I'm addicted to the feeling you give me Claire."

"Well then you need to stop taking the drug. Because I can't do this anymore. I can't keep on going one step forward and four steps back."

"You can't just quit like that it takes time and effort. I've been addicted for a while."

"Well then stop being addicted."

"You know it as well as I do we can't stay away from one another. We have this chemistry. Even you feel it I know."

"I don't know what I feel. Please let me go I have plans."

"Fine."

He let go of me and I left. Donovan came and picked me up for dinner. The evening was quite nice. He ended up sleeping over. Spending time with him made me feel complete.

I think I finally have a shot at being happy.