Daddy Issues

Part Six: Turn Back

I've spent the past few days thinking about what Alex had said at the bookstore. Breaking up with Patrick made sense, but deep down in the pit of my stomach I felt like I would be giving up on the one person who makes New York feel like home to me.

Ever since moving here from Portland, I've been alone - until Patrick. He was my best friend now, he was the person I could vent to about my day at work or issues with my crappy apartment. When I wanted to grab something to eat, Patrick had become the person I would call. I think about how much that would change once I break up with him, how lonely things would become again and my chest hurts. I don't want to be lonely. I don't want to give up on someone I care so deeply about.

Then there's Alex, his arrogant father who I slept with and is now harassing me to break up with his son. I'm still irritated that Alex had even mentioned paying me off like he could just throw his money at me. Of course the poor girl who works at a bookstore and takes the subway to Manhattan daily would be thought of as a charity case.

Alex is nothing like the man I thought I had met in the Spring, in fact, he may even be worse than any man I have ever met. Controlling, rude, obnoxious and the list goes on. I wonder how someone as kind and caring as Patrick could come from someone like Alex.

My newest roommate, now my third since moving here, refuses to clean up after herself. As I step over her shoes that's thrown across the floor, I decide that we really need to discuss this if she plans on staying here. I can't live in a mess like this, regardless of how often I stay with Patrick instead.

My phone begins to ring and I search around the room for where the sound is coming from, it can't be that far. I listen closely, following the music to the kitchen table and moving around some papers I had laid out.

Once my phone comes to sight, I see that it's Patrick that's calling. I hesitate, still fighting with my emotions on what I want to do at this point, but letting him go to voicemail doesn't seem fair.

"Hey," I say, answering the call and taking a seat on the chair next to me, "I was just thinking about you."

"And you know I'm always thinking about you," He counters, "I was hoping you didn't have plans this evening. I was going to pick you up and bring you to my dad's place. We're having a few family members over to welcome my sister back from Spain. Remember I told you she did a year of school there?"

Shit. I completely forgot about his sister, that just meant that Alex has another child that I'm sure is close to my age. How weird is this going to be now? I think back, remembering Patrick saying his little sister was fifteen or sixteen, so that puts me at a 7 or eight year age gap with her. But still, I have friends her age.

This age thing is really beginning to get to me. Maybe Alex had been right all along.

"I'm actually really tired--"

"Come on, Ave. Please? You'll love Hilary. And it isn't even a lot of people, just a few close relatives," Patrick attempts to sway me but I'm unsure about seeing Alex again, especially after our previous conversation.

"So is this a dinner thing, or?"

"Pool party!" His excitement is obvious in his voice and I try not to laugh, I've always admired his light-hearted nature, "You can wear that bikini you bought at that girl store a few weeks ago. You know, the one you were really excited about?"

This time I laugh, how can I not when he's being so amazing like he always is? I bite my lip and make the second dumbest decision I've ever made in my life. I agree to go to this stupid pool party, knowing full well that Alex will be there and that he won't want me anywhere near his home, or his son.

***

I wait outside my apartment building for Patrick and it's only a matter of minutes when I see his fancy car pulling up next to the sidewalk. I open the passenger's side door and slide into the front seat, being greeted with a kiss on the cheek from Patrick.

"You look beautiful," He tells me.

I smile, looking over at him, "Thank you. You're not so bad yourself, Mr. Jensen."

I try not to cringe at my words, it was supposed to be a cute, flirtatious comment but technically, Mr. Jensen is Alex. I look away, trying to distract myself by putting on my seatbelt. Patrick begins to drive and I think about the many ways today can turn out. 

The first possibility is that Alex will refuse to let me on his property, then of course there's the chance that he comes out with what happened just to keep Patrick away from me, or he could be civil and put this in the past like I'm trying to do. The key word is trying. I'm failing terribly, though. Every time I see or even think about Patrick I struggle with admitting to him what happened.

I didn't know. I continue to stress to myself that I had no idea but I'm in so deep with Patrick that deciding to back out isn't all that simple.

"You're awfully quiet. Is everything okay?"

I slip out of my thoughts and look at Patrick with a fake smile on my face, "I'm just thinking about home. I've been missing it a lot lately."

"You know, we could go visit your folks sometime. I'd love to see where you grew up and to meet you friends," He adds, beginning to plan a whole trip within seconds. This could have been an easy out for me, I could have said that I decided to leave NYC and got back home but Patrick was willingly offering to take me there whenever I wanted.

He is a good guy. Such a good guy and I feel like I'm lying to him by not telling him something from my past, but maybe he would understand. 

"Can I talk to you about something?" I ask, ready to just let this entire thing out and put all the cards on the table.

Patrick nods his head, "Of course, anything."

"It's abo--"

The bluetooth in Patrick's car begins to loudly play his ringtone, his father's name appearing on the screen. Patrick sighs, "One sec, babe."

Once he answers the call, Alex's voice fills the vehicle right away, "Where are you? Everyone is already here and I need to know when to start the barbecue."

"One the way, dad," He responds, stopping at a red light, "I just stopped to get Avery."

"Avery is coming?" Alex asks, his tone clearer to me than it may have been to Patrick. He doesn't want me there, which I expected and cannot blame him for, "This is a family event, Patrick. I told you this."

Patrick clears his throat uncomfortably, "Dad, can you please be--"

"I wish you would have at least mentioned this to me first," Alex sighs heavily and pauses before continuing to speak, "For future references, maybe ask the host if you can invite friends."

Without another word, Alex hangs up and leaves the car completely silent. I know that Patrick feels terrible and I can't hold that against him, I knew this was a bad idea but as Patrick continued to drive towards Manhattan I knew it was too late to turn back.