Daddy Issues

Part Fourteen: Hot Coffee

I sit at the edge of Patrick's bed as he showers in the ensuite bathroom connected to his room. My mind is where it shouldn't be - on Alex. The way he kissed me yesterday was unlike any kiss I've experienced before, the want and the passion in the kiss we shared was something I could never explain. Even when kissing Patrick or boyfriends from my past, there was never sparks like the ones that flew when Alex began kissing me in his office.

I feel guilty because of Patrick, but that's why my mind is already made up. After Patrick's birthday I'm going to break up with him because he deserves better. I'm too wrapped up in his father to give him the affection he deserves from a girlfriend.

My feelings towards Patrick are real, however. I care so deeply for him, but when I also feel some kind of way about Alex, it isn't fair to anyone. I need to cut ties with the Jensen family, both Patrick and Alex. I would never be able to forgive myself for tearing apart a dad and son's relationship.

"Hey, babe," I hear Patrick's voice and when I look up he's standing with a white towel around his waist, "You know we've been seeing each other for almost 4 months."

"We met four months ago," I correct him, we haven't necessarily been seeing each other for the full four months, but I appreciate the gesture.

"Either way," He walks towards me and takes my hands in his, intertwining our fingers as he looks down at me, "I mean we have been together for a while... And we haven't even slept together."

I take a deep breath, hating where this is going. I explained to Patrick that I didn't want to rush into bed together but now circumstances has changed, I can't sleep with him knowing I have no intentions on continuing this relationship.

"Relationships are more than sex," I point out.

Patrick nods his head, "I know. But it's also important that we connect intimately as well. What if we have sex and realize we hate sleeping together?"

He has to be kidding me. I narrow my eyes towards him, "You're not serious."

Patrick chuckles, shaking his head, "Of course I'm not... I'm kidding, Ave. But I can't help but wonder when you will be ready... I'd understand more if you were a virgin, but this isn't your first time we're talking about. Is it me?"

No. It's me.

"Patrick, you are amazing. Never think there's an issue with you, I'm just scared, that's all. Things are going so well and sex ruins things," I explain to him the best way that I can without being too direct, "You mean a lot to me and I don't want to jeopardize that by sleeping together."

"So we'll just date and never have sex?" Patrick chuckles and pulls me up to stand in front of him, he pulls me close and looks down at me as he bites on his lip, "You know I support you, whatever decision you make... But listen to me when I say this, sex will not ruin us. If anything, it'll bring us closer."

And that's what I'm afraid of.

I nod my head slowly, managing a small smile, "I know. You're right."

"Of course I'm right," Patrick jokes, leaning down and kissing my neck gently. I close my eyes as his hands wander under my shirt, moving to my bra and massaging my breasts.

"Mm..." I mumble softly.

I feel Patrick's hands move to my butt, lifting me up and tossing me carefully onto the bed. I look at him as he crawls to hover over me and I can't help but smile. Regardless of everything, I really do care about him, if this were a different situation I would have given myself to him already.

Patrick's towel slips off of his body and as he works at the button of my jeans, I place my hand over his to stop him, "Not right now."

"Babe..."