Light Of My Life

Trust

Thanks for reading and commenting! This chapter has warnings. Heed them if you'd like, they're listed at the bottom of the chapter. Just don't pay to much attention to the other notes down there.

This chapter has fluff, yes, but that comes later. Enjoy!

Warnings listed at end of chapter.

Words: 1,186

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The last case for the BAU was bad. Or worse than usual. Devyn doesn't know how or why, she didn't ask when Morgan texted her that she needed to go see Spencer. She only jumps up and does exactly what he suggested.

She doesn't bother knocking, she hasn't done that in a while anyway. She always comes to Spencer's place. He's never been to hers and thankfully he hasn't pushed the subject much. Not to say she's ashamed of where she lives but...well, yeah, she is.

Unlocking the door, Devyn enters just loudly enough to make herself known. She calls out softly to Spencer to let him know it's her. She receives a muffled response.

Setting her things down on the couch, Devyn makes her way into Spencer's bedroom to see him lying on his bed. She pauses, eyes raking over his frame before she moves to her side of the bed to lie on her side in front of him.

"Hi," She whispers and his lips twitch back but not quite into a smile.

"Hi," He mutters back, reaching out the hand not tucked under his chin to grab onto her own.

"You don't have to tell me, but," Grasping tightly to his hand, Devyn turns his arm until the inside is facing up. "Know I'm here if you want. Always, okay? I know it's hard, but come to me or anyone first before..." Trailing off, Devyn lets her actions speak for her by running her fingers over the recently made red, scratch marks on the inside of his elbow.

Spencer's eyebrows scrunch and he closes his eyes, licking his lips. A mixture of embarrassment and shame sweeps across him but Devyn doesn't let it take over. She squeezes his hand before speaking again. "I noticed the signs easy enough because I used to see them in myself."

She nods when Spencer's eyes snap open to look at her and she gives him a sad smile. "I'm not saying it's the same, but I do understand."

"I didn't know," Spencer says softly. He truly hadn't known. He wonders how he didn't see any signs at the time but now that he does know and thinks back, they were obviously there.

"I never told anyone," She admits. "No one knew except, you know, the people who were involved." Licking her lips much like Spencer had previously, Devyn bites the inside her of her cheek. "Oxy."

The shortened word hangs in the air for a second before Spencer speaks. "Dilaudid." Spencer uses both his hands to fidget with Devyn's fingers. "Oxy isn't easy to get." He points out, giving her the opportunity to continue talking but Devyn smiles softly.

"This isn't about me," She tells him but before he can say anything, she does. "But if you want me to tell you, I will. I um, I've never told anyone because I've never felt comfortable. But I do with you. I trust you."

Spencer nods and Devyn shifts a little closer towards him. "I didn't start with Oxy, no, it was smaller stuff at first. Whatever I could get my hands on. Whatever helped with the pain, you know?" Spencer nods again to show that he's listening, that he understands. "Whenever my dad...whenever he would fight with my mom, I would lock myself in my room, take whatever I had."

Clearing her throat, Devyn brings Spencer's hands up to rest in front of her face. "Then, you know, after he turned his attention on me..."

"It's okay, you don't have to," It's Spencer's turn to pull her hands to his lips, placing kisses to her knuckles.

"Yeah," She whispers and skips forward. "Even after he went away, I didn't stop. I think I mentioned an older boyfriend once," Spencer hums in confirmation that he remembers. "He was a doctor. Not the good kind," She tries to joke but it falls flat. "Yeah, he uh, he got me the Oxy. Treated me like shit but I was too high most of the time to care."

Spencer squeezes Devyn's hands and pulls her closer to him. "What made you stop? How did you stop?"

"One day I...I saw my reflection but it wasn't me looking back. It was my mother." Shaking her head, Devyn pulls one of her hands towards her face to wipe to eyes. "It hit me then, I guess. I was becoming her and that's what I'd been so afraid of my whole life."

"Hey, you're not her," Spencer's thumb replaces Devyn's and he wipes her cheeks. "You got out, you stopped, because you're strong. I'm proud of you for that."

Sniffing, Devyn nods and smiles slightly. "Thank you, that means a lot." Clearing her throat for the umpteenth time, Devyn takes a deep breath. "You want to talk now? I think I've done enough of that for today. But I'm up for listening."

"Yeah," Spencer nods. "Yeah, I think I want to."

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"You know I can't cook, but I can bake," Leaning over Spencer's shoulder, Devyn places a plate of brownies on the table and kisses his cheek before backing off. She sits next to him and grabs one of the chocolate treats, smiling at him as she takes a big bite.

Spencer himself takes one and eats it with his coffee. Devyn just sits back in her seat and watches him silently for minutes until she speaks up. "Dance with me."

"What?" Spencer questions, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion and surprise by her statement.

"Dance with me," Devyn repeats with a shrug, holding out a hand to him.

"I can't dance," Spencer points out but takes her hand, letting her pull him to his feet. "And there's no music."

"That's okay," Devyn says to both his statements while wrapping her arms around Spencer's neck. She feels his own go around her waist to hug her back and she starts to sway back and forth.

Spencer buries his face in Devyn's neck with a deep sigh, his arms tightening around her. He might've been unsure at first but now, just holding her in his arms. He can feel his stress melting away.

"I love you," Spencer almost doesn't hear Devyn because the words are spoken so softly. But he does and he pulls his head back to look down at her smiling face.

Smiling back, Spencer lowers his head to connect their lips in a kiss. "I love you back." He whispers, smiling wider when she laughs quietly.

"You won't leave me, right?" It's a vulnerable question, one she wouldn't normally allow herself to ask but...she has to.

"I'm not going anywhere," Spencer shakes his head and pulls Devyn back into his chest and the couple continues to dance slowly, wrapped in each other's arms.

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1. That last bit was so cheesy it could've been a pizza.
2. I don't know why I said note number 1.
3. We've learned something about Devyn's past! What did you guys think? Did you see that coming?
4. She opened up to Spencer and he opened up to her. It was good for both of them.
5. Despite being cheesy, wasn't that last part adorable?

Thanks so much for reading you guys! I can't wait to know what you thought about this chapter!

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WARNINGS: Talk about past drug use and mentions of abusive relationships.

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