Blank Canvas

●Chapter 30●

The worst thing about me is that I stress myself out over the smallest of issues. Even though what I was going through wasn't a trivial matter because it involved my emotions, it bothered me a lot.

My mind was filled with all kinds of stressful thoughts to the brim and I wanted nothing more than to get rid of them. So as to do that, I decided to head to my gallery and bathe myself in the smell of paints. As easy as that sounded, I was not so sure if it would work. However, I had hope because art always eases my heightened nerves.

Yesterday, when I came back home walking, I was tired. Exhausted would be the right word. Since it was sort of late, I'd used the spare key placed under the doormat. Opening the door like a smart thief would, I had quietly climbed upstairs to my bedroom, not wanting to alert my family. As soon as I was in my room, I'd fallen asleep within seconds because all that walking and crying was enough workout for me.

Everything was just a jumbled up mess. I felt so... guilty. Guilty for kissing Atlas the other day. And now that I know he loves someone else entirely made me want to strangle myself. 

'What does he even think of me now? A cheap hoe? Too desperate for a kiss?' But then my conscience reminded me that he had kissed me back too. Although, I was feeling a bit relieved by putting the blame on myself. It must be the feeling of being guilty. Guilty of thinking wrong about Jenna.

My heart clenched almost painfully when I came up with another theory. The reason Atlas might have been looking at me while singing that song would be because he wanted to pass on a message to me, silently saying, 'I like someone else so back off.' 

I was thinking all of this because he didn't trust me enough to tell me his real identity of being Mars. How he's such an eminent personality and I was unaware of it all this time. He was giving me the hints all along but I ignored them like a stupid girl that I am.

I decided to ride my bike at a slow pace as I was in no hurry to reach my gallery. Everything just felt so slow to me today. Just when I was immersed into my own world, something passing by me caught my eye. Or more specifically, a car.

I wouldn't have paid much heed to it, if it weren't for the person sitting behind the wheel. Discreetly, I kept my pace with his car and tried to make sure that I wasn't seeing things. I breathed in deeply when I saw it was Atlas himself.

My insides were gnawing at me and I was in a dilemma of whether I should follow him or not. But in the end, my curiosity won. I knew that I should have left him alone after I came to know the truth about him but I couldn't resist myself.

'I can't just follow him on a bike, he'll surely notice me,' I thought and wanted to slap myself for being such a curious being. 

Even though I was still not over yesterday's escapade and how I had worried Kris, I wanted to do this. She had called me multiple times to check up on me but I'd ignored her, making me feel bad about it now. 

That's when my eyes fell on my bag in the basket and pulled my bike to a stop. Quickly rummaging through it, I retrieved a scarf from it to cover my face and wore a pair of sunglasses as a disguise.

With that, I was back on the road. I was diligently keeping my distance from him but still following at a normal pace. 

The route Atlas was using was completely unknown to me. I have never been to this side of the town before. Heck, I didn't even know this route existed up until now. The area was quiet, eerily quiet and it gave me chills. Not in a good way.

When he parked his car, I stayed back and hid behind a tree. I peeked my head through the trunk to look where we'd come. Leaning my bike against the same tree, I tiptoed my way to where his car was parked.