Desperate Measures

Chapter Twelve- I wanted it to be you.

~~Cinnamon's point of view~~

I fell asleep last night feeling like shit. I am now married to Arlington. I understand why and it wasn't for love. I do have very strong feelings for both Arlington and Kerrison. That is my struggle. All I wanted yesterday after seeing Kerrison in the shower was for him to take me to bed. That made me feel guilty because I was lying in bed next to my husband.

My husband, who pleasured me several times before he went to sleep and did nothing for himself. He simply kissed me and went to sleep. I laid there watching him for a while. I fought off the urge to trace his tattoos with my fingers. I know each one has to have a story. It would be interesting to know some of them.

I didn't set the alarm. I still woke up at six am. Arlington gets up at six-thirty for work. I jumped in the shower quickly and went to the living room. I waited for him to get in the shower, and I started breakfast. I had it on the table for him when he came out.

Arlington: "You don't have to cook for me."

Cinnamon: "Who said I did it for you?"

He laughs.

Arlington: "Fair enough."

Cinnamon: "I wanted to have time with you before you went to work."

Arlington: "I wouldn't go if I didn't have taping."

Cinnamon: "Contracts suck."

Arlington: "Yes, they do. Mine ends this year I'm not so sure I am going to renew."

Cinnamon: "Really?"

Arlington: "It all depends on what happens with Bryant and you."

Cinnamon: "I'm not going anywhere, Arlington. If I do, it's two houses down."

Arlington: "I know that. That isn't what I was talking about."

Cinnamon: "What were you talking about?"

Arlington: "Nothing."

Cinnamon: "Don't do that. What was on your mind?"

Arlington: "I was thinking about where we might be at that time. We may not even be together. If we are, we may not even like each other anymore. We never know what the next seven months will hold."

Cinnamon: "I understand that. You're right. None of us knows what the future will hold. In this situation, we all have to take it one day at a time."

Arlington: "Exactly."

We eat in silence after that. When he goes to leave, he kisses me like he has never kissed me before. Something has changed for us. It's not a bad change; it's a good change. I just don't quite know what it is yet. Time will tell one day at a time. In our situation, it could be minute by minute.

I wash the dishes and put them away. I know everyone is still sleeping in the Denton household. Kerrison won't get up until later, and baby boy will sleep until at least eight. Katy will roll out of bed at about eleven; I still go home. I always do after Arlington leaves. I love walking between the homes. It's the only time I am really completely alone with my thoughts. It sometimes gives me clarity and sometimes makes me even more confused.

Today it gave me clarity. That was confirmed when I get home and go to my room. I find pages on my coloring book on my bed. I read them. I know I didn't color these. I giggle to myself.