Desperate Measures

Chapter Fourteen- Keeping things honest.

~Cinnamon's point of view~

I had an incredible night with Kerrison. He and I click on levels I never thought possible. I've known for a while that I was in love with him. I never felt it was quite right to tell him. I couldn't hold back when he said he loved me. That was a game-changer. I thought my time with him was just what he thought. Casual. I was joking about being his girlfriend. We have never defined anything.

He fell asleep I laid in his arms for a while. I love the way I feel in them. I moved and laid there watching him. I laid awake all night watching him sleep. I have to be honest with him. There is more than just us in this. It doesn't change the way I feel about Kerrison. I do love him. What we have is indescribable. I just need him to know the full scope of how I feel.

I won't let things be built on lies and secrets. I want things to be kept honest. If not, this world we built could crash and tumble before we can stop it. I never thought my life would be like this, but it is. I wasn't looking for it. We weren't looking for it; the three of us just kind of fell into it. We got comfortable, and it worked for us.

Kerrison and I are solid. I have no doubt he and I will make it. I don't doubt what I have with Arlington. I think he does, and that scares me. I know how I feel. That is what has kept me up all night, thoughts running wild through my head. The biggest one is I could end up losing both of them. It is a chance I have to take. I have to get it out. His eyelids start twitching, and he opens his eyes.

Kerrison: "Good morning, Baby."

Cinnamon: "Morning."

Kerrison: "How did you sleep?"

Cinnamon: "I didn't."

Kerrison: "Why not?"

I lean in and kiss him. I don't want to bombard him. Once we leave, the kids come, and family comes into the picture. This is really the only time we get alone. The first thing in the morning and before everyone but Karter is up and has gone to work already.

Kerrison: "Hold that thought, Baby."

He gets up and goes to the bathroom and then comes and lays back down. When he does, he pulls me to him. At this moment, I want to push the thoughts from my head and act like they aren't there. Just bask in the love he and I have and forget everything else. I can't do that. My heart won't let me.

Kerrison: "Talk to me."

I sit up. I can't talk to him sitting down. I may need to bolt to the bathroom to vomit from my nerves.

Cinnamon: "Our relationship has always been open and honest. Until last night you and I have never really voiced or solidified a relationship. We've joked about it, and that has been fine. You and I have something that I can't and don't want to explain. I have been in love with you for a bit now. I don't want to move forward with secrets and lies."

He sits up and turns to face me. He crosses his legs the same way I had mine. His hand goes to my leg.

Kerrison: "Secrets and lies?"

Cinnamon: "I haven't kept anything from you, nor have I lied to you. I don't want to start now."

Kerrison: "Does this have something to do with what's going on with Arlington?"

Cinnamon: "Yes and no. I have no worries or concerns about you and me. That may change after I tell you what I need to."

Kerrison: "Nothing can make me change my mind, Cinnamon. I love you. I want what I have with you. I want what we have."