Mahal Kita, Pero... [BoyxBoy]

CHAPTER SIX: Pero

CHAPTER SIX

Pero

 

AWKWARD. It was really awkward. Hanggang ngayon ay markado pa rin sa isip ko ang nangyari.

            It has been two hours since I landed on my bed. Nakatulala lang naman ako. At mukhang tutulala lang ako buong gabi.

            Akala ni Mama, may sakit ako. Hindi ko kasi naubos ang pagkain ko kanina. Ilang beses din akong ginulat ni Papa kasi parang nawalan ako ng presence of mind. May tinatanong si Ate Stil na hindi ko nasagot, na ngayon ko lang na-realize kung ano ang sagot sa tanong nito. At si Kuya Kat, may hiniram pala na gamit sa akin. Ni hindi ko namalayang nagpaalam ito sa akin.

            Ano ba talaga ang nangyayari sa akin? Bakit ba parang nag-iba ang pakiramdam ko kapag kasama ko si Percy? Like what I asked myself… could this be love?

            Sinampal ko ang pisngi ko. “Jam, ano ba ang nangyayari sa 'yo?”

            I closed my eyes and tried to see images of me and Percy. What I saw was when I punched him in front of the wishing tree, yet he demanded me to be his best friend. I also saw him when I hugged him in the Men’s CR. I remembered when I embraced him again after reading his all-time favorite book, too.

            Hindi ko naman ginagawa iyon talaga. Ni sina Ate Stil at Kuya Kat ay hindi ko niyayakap. But why was it that I became too comfortable with Percy? Parang hindi mali na yakapin ko ito. Parang tama na yakapin ko ito. And it felt so damn good.

            Ang pagkakaiba lang siguro ay sa mga nakaw na sandaling iyon, natuto akong i-appreciate ang isang tao sa buhay ko na hindi ko ine-expect na maa-appreciate ko. I mean, Ate Stil, Kuya Kat, Mama & Papa, they’re family. But Percy? He’s not family but I appreciated him like one.

Palibhasa kasi, masyado akong makasarili. Wala akong pakialam sa iba. Kung ano lang ang makakabuti para sa sarili ko ay iyon lang ang iniisip ko.

But when I met Percy, I learned to reach out. Binuksan ni Percy ang utak kong nakakulong sa sarili kong hawla. He showed me how big the world could be if I just step out of my own little world.

Binuksan ko ang mga mata ko. I breathed deeply. Muling sinampal ko ang magkabilang pisngi ko. “Jam, Jam! Hold your shit. You’re straight.”

And I closed my eyes… and he was about to kiss me on the lips!

“Putang-ina!” Napasigaw ako. Then, I caught myself cursing. Bigla akong napatalukbong ng kumot.
Then, a few seconds later, a beam of light flashed from my door. Baka siguro si Mama o si Papa, chine-check kung gising pa ako.

Bakit ko ba nararamdaman ang lahat ng ito? Wait. Let me rephrase that question. Bakit kay Percy ko pa naramdaman ang lahat ng ito?

I mean, Percy… Wow. He’s not of a special guy to begin with. Yet, his wonderful disposition made me realize lots of things that I thought it wouldn’t possibly happen. He had this welcoming smile that greets the whole world with vigor and joy. He had this strong gravity that pulls me towards him, to be near him, to embrace him. He may not be a special guy to begin with, but then again, it was just the beginning.

“I think I’m falling in love with Percy.” bulong ko sa sarili. Then, in a span of a nano-second, another image flashed in my mind. Naalala ko ang eksena noong nag-uusap-usap kami nina Papa, Ate Stil at Kuya Kat sa sala tungkol sa baklang napatay sa isang hotel kamakailan. Well, sila lang pala ang nag-uusap. Miron lang pala ako doon.