My book Temptation Island is over now (sad), but that means I have the time to focus myself for a 100% on this one! Expect a lot of updates, my loves!
"Mom, you can't be serious!" Louis snaps when he looks at the ticket in his hand.
"I am very serious. I'm not taking Lottie into the London dungeons. She is only twelve, Louis. She'll probably have nightmares! You go with Harry. It's your exchange, not ours." Jay tells her son when they are in front of the entrance.
Louis really doesn't want to be left alone with Harry in London. He hasn't slept all night, his mind with the curly boy that was sleeping next to him. Louis' emotions are all over the place. He misses Harry so much and he wants nothing more then to be alright with him again, but Harry talked about him to Stephanie, and hearing the girls' tone it wasn't anything positive.
"We can do something else then!" Louis suggests. "This is London for God's sake mom, there is so much to do that we all can do."
"Lottie and I have an appointment at that famous spa. You do whatever you want, Louis. We are out. Let's go Lottie." Lottie hooks her arm into her mothers' and they disappear from Louis' sight. Great, just great.
"I get that you are pissed, Louis. But is it so bad to be alone with me?" Harry's voice is kind of snappy and makes Louis' body freeze.
"That's not it... Let's just go into the dungeon."
"No, we should talk first. I'm done with this. If you are going back to being your old self Louis, just tell me because then I'm not going to put any effort to fix our bond."
And those words hurt Louis. No effort in fixing their bond? Harry actually wants to put effort into fixing what they had?
"Let's go sit over there." Louis points at a wooden bench, having a view on the river Thames. Harry follows the boy and they are sitting next to each other, both on the very edge.
"Why did you tell her?" Louis starts the conversation. "Why did you tell Stephanie about my private life?"
"Honestly, Lou it wasn't even about you. They saw that a few days in a row I looked tired and I only explained them that it was because you bring girls home and that they are kind of loud and that's why I can't sleep. I never said anything about the things you confessed to me, Lou. I would never spill your secrets. You're my friend, I'd never do that to you. I care about you."
Those four words make Louis' heart melt. Harry cares about him. He cares a lot about Harry is well, yet he keeps messing up everything.
"I'm sorry for keeping you awake. I honestly didn't know it was that bad." Louis apologises.
"And I'm sorry for not telling you but instead complain about it to my friends. I should have discussed it with you first." Harry apologises as well.
"I never came." Louis confesses.
Harry gives Louis a weird look.
"What? But..."
"I kept bringing them home because I was hoping that at least one of them could give me... you know release but none did. I feel so abnormal. I haven't had an orgasm since that night after the pa..." Louis stops himself, realising that he can't finish that sentence.
"After what?"
And then it clicks in Harry's head.
"You remember."
Louis bites his lip, looking at the river in front of him.
"Why did you say you didn't remember? Louis, please look at me!" Harry gets frustrated when the boy still doesn't answer.
"Do you know how much it hurt me when you told me that you didn't remember? How used I felt?" Harry confesses. He really had problems processing that something that felt so good to Harry wasn't even worth remembering for Louis. Yet here Louis is confessing he remembers all. Louis lied about something that was kind of a big deal to Harry. On the other hand, Louis couldn't know it was important to him. He doesn't know that Harry has a crush on him.
"Do you know how much it hurt me when I woke up in my own bed after I asked you to sleep together? Hearing ten minutes later you are going on a date with fucking Josh?" Louis throws back, tears visible in his eyes.
And Harry is shook. He didn't expect that answer. He really thought he was doing a good thing when he moved Louis, respecting his boundaries. He thought he would avoid a tantrum, yet here he is having one because he didn't let him sleep with him.
"I thought you would have been angry with me! Because back then Louis, and you can't deny it, I couldn't do anything right in your eyes. I was so scared that you would wake up and hate me even more and I felt so guilty about what happened. How could I know that you actually wanted to stay the night with me? The only things you said to me were snappy comments and insults. I'm sorry for not knowing that you wanted me to cuddle you to sleep! Also don't forget that you still were with Eleanor."
And Harry is right. Louis knows that Harry is right, but still it hurts. He shouldn't be wanting to be cuddled to sleep by a guy.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I keep acting like a dick towards you. And I'm sorry for keep saying sorry and not changing anything. I honestly don't know myself what's going on with me and I also don't know why it's always against you. You are so nice and kind to me and you are a really good friend. I like you yet I treat you like you are my worst enemy. Hell, I even treat Stephanie better than I treat you."
Both boys chuckle lightly when Louis says the last thing.
"But I really want one more chance, Haz. I will not mess it up. We can be friends. I really want you around and I missed you a lot this week. I felt miserable without you. It's just all so weird because you bring up feelings that are foreign to me, Harry. And I'm not going to promise that I will never be a dick anymore towards you, because I am quite sure I will. But I do promise you that I will be your friend no matter what and that I will always care about you and our bond. We have a special connection and I don't want to lose it.
You have this weird effect on me and sometimes it's really good and sometimes it makes me angry and confused and helpless. You are helping me to find myself yet you are the one person that makes me doubt myself so much. I'm lost, Harry and for some reason in the end I always blame you for it, even though you really don't deserve it. You are an angel. You are perfect and you don't deserve my mood changes and instability. I understand if you say that you just want to be housemates and nothing more."
Harry hushes the boy that is not even talking anymore but rattling. He puts his arms around him, pulling the smaller boy in a tight hug.
"I'm here for you, Lou. As much as you are going to try to shut me out and push me away, I'm here and I'm going to help you through this."
Louis doesn't say a word, he just clenches himself on Harry, pushing himself as close as possible. When Harry holds him everything makes sense and he is okay. His heart is beating faster than normal, but he is okay. Everything is scary again when he leaves his arms, facing the reality that yes, Louis' favourite place in the world is in the arms of a boy.
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From LA to UK {Larry Stylinson book 1}
Fanfiction"Can you for once be honest with yourself, Louis?" Harry pulls his hair. He is so frustrated with the guy he has been living with for the past few weeks. "I am honest with myself! You just think you can turn everyone.... you know the way you are." "...