Greys IV - Chains

Chapter 4 - Naming Sheep

"My brother? My brother. I-I have a brother?"

I could only repeat it like some stalled machine, whirring over the same broken piece, unable to click past it. I obviously knew I had a mother, and a father, even if I rarely thought of them or really saw their importance. But I had never imagined I had siblings. I don't know why my parentage didn't matter to me and this somehow did, but it did, enough to steal the air from my lungs and keep my mouth hanging open.

Malachi was my blood. That's why we were bonded, that's why I felt like I knew him and could see so much more in him than the others, why I was drawn to him, and how I could tell when the Collector - Baraqiel - was hurting him. That one thought opened the floodgates to every painful image I had of Malachi. Of all he had shown me in his memories in the woods before we ever made it to the Vault, of James abusing him, Grayson using his power on him, Ailech pulling his strength, me pulling his emotions, smiling down at him like a monster as he cowered on the floor, and of the torture he had endured for years, decades, under his master that I would never know, never see. Just like what James had lived through and grown up in.

I felt my blood boil, racing and shooting through me as lightning flowed through my veins, then something sharp and raw, burning and frozen wrapped around me, and everything went dark.

» ✦ «

I opened my eyes and saw the same scene, the deja vu giving me a headache. But then I saw Malachi, sitting similarly to before, but something was different, tickling my memory. He was further away, in the corner now, and his long-sleeved shirt was more rumpled, torn? No, burned. I could smell char and smoke and the sick sizzle of cloth melted to flesh.

I looked down, but a new blanket covered me still. New because it was a different shade than the one before. I tucked it around myself and sat up, making to move toward Malachi, my brother, to try to heal him, to do something, anything to make up for whatever had come from within me and hurt him. But he held a hand up to stop me, angry red, blistered skin showing at his wrist until it disappeared up his sleeve.

"You don't need to say anything. I understand. I wouldn't want me for a brother either. It doesn't mean anything anyway, it's just blood, so forget I mentioned it and we can continue on as we have, two people working together for a common goal, or better, not even together but simply against a common enemy. I only told you because I'm done hiding. I'm done being a fucking coward. But the blood doesn't matter, so just forget it."

I understood what he must be thinking. Why he thought my anger and fire had overcome me. He thought it was because I hated him, because I didn't want him, because of what he had done or who he was. But he couldn't have been more wrong.

"It does mean something. And that didn't happen because I'm angry or disappointed that you're my brother," I motioned back to the spot I had woken from, noticing for the first time the char marks on the floorboards like a singed police chalk outline.

"It happened because I remembered all the times you've been hurt, all the times Baraqiel hurt you and I- I don't know, something swallowed me up. No one - no one - should ever hurt you, should dare lay a finger on you. And instead, all you've ever experienced was that, pain and torture and fear living with a monster as he tried to turn you into one too. I'm your big sister, and I didn't protect you, I didn't even know about you. I wasn't angry at you, I was angry at everyone who ever hurt you. And I will make them pay."

Now it was Malachi's turn to look like the malfunctioning machine, as his mouth opened and closed and opened again. Finally, he got a word out, though his voice was higher than usual, his smooth composure cracked.

"What?"

"You are mine, my family, and I will do everything in my power to protect you and make up for the life you've endured so far, a life alone. But you aren't alone anymore, and you never will be again. I won't abandon you, I promise."