Greys IV - Chains

Chapter 50 - Give

If you wanna give, then give me all that you can give, your darkest impulses. And if you wanna give me anything, then give.
Give in again.

Give - Sleep Token

In the shadow of a moment, I saw the wicked transformation overtake him. I watched as the darkness of some inescapable nightmare entwined itself around him, as he relived something I would never understand. His face hardened, his eyes clouding even in his Shift, his movements and demeanor sharpening like a lethal blade. In the span of a single heartbeat, he became unrecognizable. He lifted me like I was made of paper, crushing me against the wall with an unyielding force, a stark reminder of just how much he usually held back, the restraint he used, of how wide the chasm that separated us truly was.

Fear constricted my mind as it blanked, as my thoughts tumbled, falling down my body as quickly as the blood that drained from beneath his steel grip. Desperation and dread replaced whatever I had felt a moment earlier, so potent I almost wondered if he was somehow placing it there, pushing it into my mind - just like I had thought the first times I ever laid eyes on him, in my store, in my city. That was a lifetime ago. I was so different now, the world was - he was. How could I have thought I could tame him? How could I have ever thought I could control this? He had said it himself.

I already am him.

And that's precisely how he looked now. He was his father. Not the man I had known, loved, not even a fraction of that man, not a man at all. Not anymore.

"You can't deceive me again, my Amb, not this time," he growled, his lips curling back to reveal sharpened teeth. "You can't make me listen to you or love you or obey you. I'm finally exactly what you feared; I'm fucking free. And you cannot fathom what I will do to you."

His voice sank low, rough like stone as it shook with fury, echoing through my heart right down to my soul. I had never felt this depth of fear before, this level of terror. His ink drop eyes bored through me like a pin piercing the wing of some helpless insect, and a chilling cold spread across my skin from where he held me. I cursed the feeling, the punishment, the icy shards and what I knew it made him remember. I cursed that the added cold, meant to deter him from violence, was doing just the opposite, pushing him farther away, burying him in memories of his captor - and dragging me down into those frigid depths with him.

I attempted to speak, to somehow convince him that I was not her, that I was not some trick or illusion designed to torment him, but I couldn't manage more than a feeble whimper, the air in my lungs depleted. But I didn't need to form words, to scream or beg. If frost was her signature, then fire would be mine - an inferno capable of melting even the worst of her winter, that could reach James no matter how deep he descended under her numbing waters.

The pressure in my head grew, the edges of my vision blurring, my lungs burning, but I reached for him regardless. My fingers hovered inches from his chest, his arm span far greater, too far to cross, too far to touch, too far to do anything. He was always so far from me. My arms stretched for him, and even without his scared skin beneath my fingertips, I felt his fire, my fire, beating in me, raging in my chest, and coursing through my veins. I only had to let it out, to unleash it, to let go.

Heat blazed through my ribcage and down my arm to my outstretched fingers - and then continued. Fire burst from me, and like his lightning, like my darkness, it followed my instructions, understanding my unspoken need perfectly. It hit like a geyser, the flames acting oddly fluid, flowing like water and splashing against his bare chest. Droplets sprayed onto the bed, some smoldering before extinguishing, while others grew to consume more of the too-soft covers and fluffy blankets.