Chapter 29 - Keep It Secret

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Holden wasn't as big a city as where we had searched for Kael and Nevaeh so many months ago, but the similarities still ached, the memories, all I had that was now lost, broken. We didn't have to search nearly as hard either, as Malachi seemed to know every city, and knew exactly where to go to find a Vampyre. We left him alone with the poor thing for five minutes before my brother emerged with blood up to his elbows like he had washed his hands in the man's chest. But he had what we wanted, the address to the most powerful nest in the city.

The sun was steadily dragging itself toward the horizon, beams of color painting the morning sky alongside long clouds. I knew that meant James was probably already in the mansion, butchering the nest and its pets alike. My insides knotted and squeezed, constricting me tighter with each step I took toward the imposing building peeking past rooftops still a block away.

"It'll be okay. I have faith."

Malachi spoke low, just to me, though Ailech was close. I couldn't stop my eyebrows from rising.

"No, not faith in that," he motioned at the sky vaguely, continuing under his breath like he was sharing a secret. "Faith in James."

"You didn't see him. It's like he's...gone." I matched his volume, though my voice probably couldn't have come out any stronger even if I'd tried.

"No, he isn't, she isn't that strong. He's faking it somehow. Trust me, I know what she can do - and she couldn't have taken him over. Maybe when he was a Half if she had help from the mages in the Darke house, their curses, and magic...but never as a Full. She can't break people apart, and she could never overtake all of him. So, the only answer is he's faking it. It's what I would do."

He spoke with confidence now, like he truly believed his words, but I knew he was wrong. James was gone. Still, a little piece of me wanted to believe, whispered asking how he could be gone. No one knew what Ambriel was capable of more than her trainer, more than Malachi, and if he thought her Gift wasn't strong enough to influence all of my Pair, then maybe he was right. Or maybe I just wanted him to be right.

"Maybe she didn't have to break him apart. Just break him, then she took over each cracked part."

Ailech joined the conversation, apparently having sharper ears than we thought.

"No. That's not how she works, she breaks you to get in, but you're still one person, you're still whole. You can't be chopped up into different parts like a body can. Her Gift has to taint all of you, fill you even if it's diluted, then she grows in strength. It's a quiet infection, a cancer that moves through everything before it shows itself, before the host knows, and by the time they would, it's too late. I...I taught her that, to use stealth, infecting every aspect of her victim at once just slightly, gently, before slowly changing them. It's the subtle things we often ignore. It's the silent things that kill."

He stopped short, looking from me to Ailech with his animal eyes matching the orange-gold streaked sky behind him.

"I know she couldn't take all of him on at once. And since he isn't any less now - more, actually - and he can't split himself apart into little bite sized chunks for her, she couldn't have won, not really. So he's faking it. He'll fight it."

He said the last words with finality, but I felt a current of dread dance along my spine. His words echoed in my head.

...he can't split himself apart...

And then a memory joined, words I had said months ago, advice I had given to my Pair when I thought I was protecting him.

Why not be both? Be who you need to be and who you want, just don't let them meet...you can keep it from everyone else, keep it safe, keep it hidden. We can keep it secret.

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