Greys IV - Chains

Chapter 39 - Heal Me

The dance wasn't the same, just like James wasn't. Our steps didn't match, our skills. None of it was there, not the freedom or joy or even wrath. We were out of sync and it felt like yet another loss, another little death.

James didn't seem to mind, pleased to still be able to get under my skin and provoke me. Or maybe he didn't care about anything, not really, just his revenge. Maybe in that way he was a little like my brother - wanting to beat his old master and settle a score more than really caring that he was fighting for the right side. Maybe the side didn't matter to James either, just winning, just biting the hand that had held his leash and choked him with it. A little voice whispered that I could understand that feeling, that I was doing this because I hated his father more than because I loved the world, too - but I brushed the thought away.

The only time I could hit him, get any contact at all that wasn't initiated by him was with my darkness. He didn't use his lightning - except as a warning, hitting the ground before I took the step, filling the space before I made the move, letting me know I was being predictable, at least to him, to a Fallen. It was disheartening knowing that even with my shiny new tricks, a Half and an Angel weren't on the same playing field. We were hardly even playing the same game.

He smiled his stupid, cocky grin usually, which just made me want to hit him more. So I would. I called the night often, and soon he had tarnished marks spread across him. But it was better than seeing his scars, and he didn't seem to mind the injuries, to feel them or care, so I didn't stop. Not until he raised a hand to halt us. I immediately obeyed and cursed that too. Something about him made my nature listen.

"Not bad for being a pup in that new Gift. Now, heal me."

Apparently I made a face, confused or angry or a mixture, which is what I was finding he often elicited in me. He continued.

"Oh, do you need soft words and a please?"

I sneered, now sure I was more mad than confused. "I can't heal. Go find Ailech."

"Hmm, no. You're the closest to my equal, you do it or no one does."

"Ailech is better."

"Anything a Human does, we do better," he said Human like it was a dirty word.

"You don't mean that."

"I assure you, I do. Besides, you need the practice and you can do it. So open up a vein, don't be stingy now after being so generous earlier."

His wolf's grin had adrenaline spiking through my veins again. But when I didn't make a move for him, he rolled his eyes, still Shifted, and came forward.

"I'll teach you."

He spoke quiet and low and it made my heart pound. I hated when he used that voice.

"You're a bad healer, too."

My defense sounded thin, even to me, but his attention was fraying my own.

"I'm an Angel-" he winked, "I'm good at everything."

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes.

"Fine - what do I do? And don't tell me to 'focus' because Ailech already tried that."

He threw his head back and laughed, and it sounded truly happy. I jumped at his sudden noise, the contrast, but then my heart ached and I couldn't look away, not when his smile was so brilliant. And when his happiness had always been so rare.

Why wasn't he darker? Why wasn't he vile and scary and all the other things he should be - all the other things he was? He was just frustrating enough to have my blood begin to quicken before he'd switch to charming so fast it had my head spinning. Was this his play, his game? Was he acting? Was he that good an actor? But the biggest question I had was why? What did he gain if this was all an act? I had already said I would work with him, what more could he want?