Greys IV - Chains

Chapter 27 - We Kill the Flame

I studied him for a long time, memorizing the lines of him, on him, memorizing his face as it was now, trying to find a glimmer of the old him, to find the beauty in him, in his Shift or strength, but my heart didn't feel anything for whatever was before me. And that scared me more than anything else. Was it our souls that were connected, that had called me to him, drawn us together so uncontrollably? Had I loved his soul, and now I no longer felt it - felt anything for him - because he didn't have one? Is that how love worked? Or is that how True Pairs worked? Our souls joined us, so when one of us lost it, we lost each other as well? Did we have to choose between power and a soul?

I felt my vision thinning and I knew I could go back to my body, the real world in present time, but I didn't want to, not yet. Instead, I watched him, willing my heart to jump, begging it to pound, to flutter or stutter, but the only thing my instincts said was to run, to fight, to get away from the threat before me by any means necessary.

Eventually, with a tight chest fighting to calm my breaths, I cautiously walked closer, each footfall met with another jolt of fear. Now, my self-preservation and my vision were aligned, both trying to pull me away but the fear almost felt the same as excitement, the adrenaline mimicking the fire of our connection. I walked around him, taking in each new angle as I slowly circled, as he continued to stare blankly forward, like a machine that had been turned off.

I made my way back to his front, standing directly before him. His black eyes staring just past me, over me. And then - I don't know what possessed me - I lifted my hand, having to barely stretch my shaking fingers before I was only an inch from the golden skin of his cheek. I wanted so badly to touch him, maybe to prove I didn't need to be afraid of him, maybe to prove he wasn't really there. Or maybe the opposite, to prove he was there, that he really was alive and out there somewhere.

Just as the ends of my fingers would have skimmed his warm skin, his cheek twitched up, the ghost of a genuine smile curving one edge of his lips. And regardless of souls or Pairs or what was severed or lost between us, my heart jumped. My own soul, however broken, sang. I knew that little smile of his, it was the one he used when he could finally relax, when he could finally allow himself something he needed, wanted. It was a smile of peace, of comfort. He knew I was there.

"Hello, Angel."

His voice made my eyes burn with tears, those words, that smooth tone; he still sounded just the same. I closed my eyes to stop from crying, my head dropping just for a moment, just so I could control myself and stop my legs from giving out with the relief I felt.

And then my blood ran cold.

"Hello, love."

A voice like winter needles spoke from behind me, pricking my skin, my mind - breaking the heart that had just begun to stir. When I opened my eyes, James wasn't looking at me, his shadow eyes were looking past me, at her. He hadn't been speaking to me, sensing me, no - he was talking to her. He called her angel, he touched her, kissed her. He thought he loved her. He obeyed her. And something about that made me snap, made me see red, and not from a Shift.

When I turned, my hands were shaking again, but not from fear. I was vibrating with my anger, my rage and hatred. All I felt was pure, dark fury. My eyes fell on her, the ghostly woman who had destroyed James, nearly destroyed Kael, who had been let into their home and treated as family, and then betrayed them all, over and over again, worse and worse each time all because she wouldn't stay fucking dead. I looked into her pastel, icy eyes knowing that's what James had seen for months before he broke, before she somehow took him over, what he saw now and thought he loved.