Grace Alive (A Christian Romance)

Part 10

Chapter 9

I didn’t have to work today which was nice and not so nice. Nice, because I could sleep in for a little bit, and not so nice because my mom and dad were watching me like a hawk—I had no idea why. I think they thought I was going to scream, ‘I’m running away’, and run out the door like a five-year-old. I had been texting Branson all week, trying to get to know him a little better, and we’d been on Facebook chatting last night for five hours.

After drinking a cup of coffee in silence, Mom tried to make conversation with me but failed. I had no desire to talk about the other night when my dad had yelled at me about my tithe. My mom made breakfast, and I choked down pancakes and two sausages, but honestly I didn’t feel like eating a thing. I needed to get out of here.

After my meal, I took a shower, got dressed, and put on some makeup. I needed to go for a walk or something. I grabbed my cell phone, keys, and purse and headed out the door.

“Where are you going, sweetheart?” my mother asked me.

“Going for a walk in the park.”

“Okay, love you.” I heard her putting the dishes in the dishwasher and walked out the door. My dad was in his study praying. I felt anger brewing up in me again. Why was I angry at my dad? He was just trying to teach me the laws of God. It wasn’t his fault I was so stupid. I unlocked my car, slid into the driver’s seat, shoved my key in the ignition, and turned it over. My car purred to life, and I peeled out of the driveway, feeling something instantly lift off my shoulders. I would see Mia at church tonight, and I needed to talk to her. Really, really badly. Should I though? Should I say that my dad chewed me out last Saturday because I forgot to tithe? Maybe I should just keep it to myself. I slammed my hands against the steering wheel. Was that really who God was? A tyrant like my dad? If I broke the rules was I going to Hell?

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son. I paused as I heard the scripture rise up in my heart. For God so loved the world. If God loved me, why did He get so mad at me when I didn’t do something right? It was so confusing. I turned up my stereo and let the worship music soothe my nerves. I just needed to drive.

I drove for awhile, until I hit the furthest part of town where a lonely park rested. It was the perfect place to just get away. I still felt emotional, but I could hide it pretty well when I wanted to. I shoved it all in a nice neat box marked Dad and buried it in my heart. I did love my dad; I just wished he wasn’t so hard on me at times. Deep down I felt like he was just trying to do what was right for me.

I parked, looking out at the lush greenery for a moment, flung open the door, and got out. The fresh air would do me good. I locked my car and slung my purse over my shoulder, walking down the curvy sidewalk that was nestled underneath some awesome woods. The trees were huge here, and there were forest animals all over the place. It’s really more of a reserve than a park; the only thing domesticated here is the path that they paved last year for the sake of bikers and moms with strollers. There is an outhouse somewhere too—though I wouldn’t call that ‘domesticated’. I started walking briskly, making my mind push away all negative thoughts—this was going to be a good day.

After all the praying I did, God must have forgiven me right? I started quoting scriptures under my breath just in case. I saw a couple women jogging with ear buds shoved in their ears, and one guy was running with his golden retriever. I waved at him and he smiled.

I started jogging to loosen up my muscles. I tried to keep in shape, jogging three times a week if that counted for something. The feel of the wind soothed my frayed nerves, closing my eyes, I drew in deep breaths. After a good twenty minutes, I slowed down to a walk and circled back toward my car.