𝐎𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐮𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐞𝐬 - 𝐀𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐚 𝐒𝐡𝐞𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐝

𝔼𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕖𝕖𝕟

TW ⚠

Amelia would be lying if she said she hadn't realized that Abby had been off recently. Ever since the night she mentioned her nightmares she'd been different. She had been spending a lot more nights in on call rooms instead of their bed, or just not sleeping at all, working herself to point of exhaustion. 

In the last week or two, she wasn't really sure, sleep had been non-existent for Abigail. After revealing to her girlfriend that she had nightmares, by some sick twist of fate, they had come back. No matter where she slept, whether it was in her bed next to her girlfriend, in an on call room, hell she'd even tried to sleep if the floor but nothing worked.

Every time she closed her eyes she would jolt awake not long after, drenched in a thin layer of sweat, panting heavily, sometimes even yelling aloud. That's why she felt as though she shouldn't, or couldn't, sleep next to her girlfriend. Why should she have to deal with them? Abby couldn't do that to her. 

Its not that she didn't want Amelia to know, it was that deep rooted anxiety that she will leave when she finds opens up. That constant what if in the back of her mind. What if she doesn't want her anymore? What if she decides its too much? What if she just leaves?

So that leaves Abby laid in an on call room, staring up at the ceiling thoughts running at a million miles an hour. The prospect of sleeping being the most daunting thing she had to face, or more the visions that accompany the sleep. But at this point she couldn't fight it, the heaviness of her eyes consuming her body. 

It was dark, really dark. As if she had her eyes screwed shut. She could feel the all too familiar pain of the cold, sharp grass, feeling as though it was stabbing into her bare back. She was numb, yet she could feel everything. The weight of people on top of her, crushing her completely. 

In that moment the usual confident, self assured Abby was reduced to a weak and scared little girl all over again. Her begs and pleas are useless, reaching deaf ears. The only witnesses to her cries are the trees and bushes surrounding the park, nobody being there during such late hours. 

The same three words running through her head.

"Just enjoy it."

"Just enjoy it" 

Abby jolted awake yet again, beads of sweat dripping down the back of her neck. Her chest rising and falling far too quickly, much like the stream of tears that were making their way down her face. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears, feeling like it was going to burst her ear drums. 

She reached her hands up, running them through her drenched hair with a pained sob. She couldn't keep going like this. She couldn't keep reliving this. 

------

Amelia was walking through the halls having just come out of surgery, looking for her girlfriend. She hadn't seen  Abby in days because, well, the blonde was avoiding her. When she rounded the corner coming up to the nurses station in the lobby she found her girlfriend sat behind it resting her head on her chin. She didn't look so good, dark circles under her eyes making her look gaunt. 

She was clearly exhausted. When she looked up to meet Amelia's eyes, the brunette could the lack of emotion withing them. She looked so void of everything. It scared her, both of them. Amelia had no idea how to help. The two just stood staring at each other. When Abby went back to her paperwork, silently, she was doing her best to concentrate but still those three words cycled through her head. 

"Just enjoy it."

When Amelia finally moved to talk, Abby just stood up on wobbly legs and turned to walk away, not giving her the chance to even begin. Amelia's eyebrows furrowed in concern as she watched the woman walk away. Releasing a sigh, she began to follow her. 

Abby had walked into radiology, looking at a patients scans, or trying to. Her head immediately turned around when she heard the door opening to see her girlfriend walking in. She just let out  deep sigh, as if she didn't want her here which Amelia noticed. A hurt look flashed across her face before she spoke. "Hey, you okay?" 

"Peachy." Abby replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm, completely opposite to Amelia's genuine worry.

"No you're not-"

"Then why ask?" Abby snapped back, she really didn't want to be having this conversation. Amelia was taken aback by her tone of voice, not knowing what to say. A very uncomfortable silence falling among the two.

"What's going on with you. You haven't been in our bed for almost a week. In fact I haven't seen you in a week! C'mon baby, just talk to me, please." Abby just ignored her. "I'm here for you, I'm right here-"

"Well I don't want to you to be. I didn't ask for you to be here.Get out, I don't need you!"

"You don't mean that." Abby hadn't known Amelia to sound so broken, but in this moment she didn't care.

"Don't I?" That's all Abby said before pushing past Amelia, walking out, leaving her stood there gently tears rolling down her cheeks. 

A/N: I really hate this chapter but oh well. Im not good at writing stuff at this but I tried. Please leave a comment with anything you want to see happen if you have any ideas. Thank you for reading :)