Just Hold Me

Chapter: 16

I got accepted to that modeling school. One of the girls dropped out and they called me to fill her in. So I am now learning to become a model. There are so many rules.

First, you can't be fat but can't be too skinny. I kind of get that one.

Second, never leave a place without makeup on. What if I'm tired?

Third, always try your best to look good with what you wear.

Fourth, never get caught eating at fast food restaurants. This kind of has to do with the being too skinny or fat thing.

But it's much to keep track of. I've lost ten pounds already.

I feel horrible. I'm sick all the time. The ladies are always having me throw up my lunch or dinner.

Mom, who calls me every weekend, tells me I should just go to a different college. But where am I going to go? She's been okay, I guess. Sleeping in more and going back to sleep early. Not eating as much. Like me, throwing up all of the time.

Josie has been acting spacey lately. Ever since that phone call with Adam she won't talk to me.

My dad. Oh gosh, where do I start. He's avoiding me. He won't call me back or answer my messages. And when I showed up to his workplace, he screamed at me in front of everyone there. Telling he doesn't love me. He doesn't want me around. And that the only reason he got me an apartment was so that I didn't have to see him again. I mean, I knew all of that already. But did he have to say it in front of everyone?

I was on my way to the apartment when I see Josie with her date. They met a few weeks ago in college and have now decided to start going out. They seem to be hitting it off pretty good. And the guy's nice. At least around me.

Josie waves at me. "Hey, Em. Carter's here."

I nod, walking up the steps. "I noticed. How are you, Carter?"

He looks up from his phone. "I'm pretty good. How are you?"

"Tired," I say. "And hungry. I feel like I haven't eaten in forever."

Josie laughs. "Well, when they make you throw up your food, you're going to be hungry."

I point at the door. "I'll be inside."

They nod.

I set my bag down on the beautiful kitchen counter. Everything in this apartment is beautiful. Including the entire neighborhood. But I'm still alone.

Josie is gone most of the time. And mom is the only person who calls me.

Well, mom and Adam. But I never answer him. Just thinking about him makes me want to cry. And it's not like he did anything wrong. He left for college.

But it still hurts. How is it that someone I loved so much would just leave as if we never happened.

I could probably wait for him. But that's more than six years from now. He'll probably already have a family of his own by then. And I will really feel alone and...

I gasp. "You need to stop doing this," I say to myself. "He's gone."

My phone vibrates in my purse.

In my room, I lay own on my bed and ignore it.

Why can't I just sleep through everything? I would like for once to just fall asleep and never wake up again. No one can bother me then. No one will be able to hurt me.

Yes, I decide. I would definitely love to stay asleep forever.
• • •
Sleeping forever didn't last very long. Josie woke me up about two hours later saying she made dinner. And even though I kept telling her I'd eat later, she insisted on me eating with her.

"I am not about to let you just sleep your problems away," she said.

"I would like to," I say to myself.

"Carter left about an hour ago," she tells me. "I was going to wake you but I decided to make dinner instead. You should thank me for letting you sleep an extra hour."

"Thanks," I mutter.

She looks up from her food. "You doing okay?" she asks softly.

I nod, playing with my food. "I can't eat this," I tell her. "They'll make me throw it up again."

She gives me a sympathetic look. "I would just drop out, Emily. They can't tell you what you eat. And if you get any skinnier than you are now you'll just be bones."

I shrug. "It's not like anyone will care," I say solemnly. "I mean, besides you."

She places her hand over mine. "I hate seeing you like this, Em. You need to be happy again."

My lower lip starts to quiver. She looks at me for a while before coming up behind me and giving me a hug.

"Oh, baby," she whispers softly. "You should just forget everyone right now, okay? Don't think about them."

"It's hard," I say, starting to cry. "No one wants me around."

Josie kneels down beside me and brushes the hair off my face. "Look at me," she says gently but firmly.

I wipe my face before looking down at her.

She looks me in the eye before speaking. "I need you to listen to me carefully, okay? Do not worry about what others think about you. You are a very beautiful person who is nicer than anyone I know. Anyone who tries to tell you different needs to find a hole and die. Because you are way to awesome to let them get to you."

I cry on her shoulder. She holds me as I cry. And for a very long while, I could not stop.

A knock on the door made me at least calm down a little.

Josie looks at me worriedly. "Are you okay? We don't have to let anyone in if you're not okay."

I nod and stand up. "I'll just be in the room."

"It's about time," I hear her whisper. "She was just bawling her eyes out."

In the bathroom, I can hear her arguing with someone. The voice sounds familiar but I can't place it.

"Just let me see her already," he says again.

I go lay on my bed again.

But it wasn't even five minutes before the door opened again.

"Conner?" I ask when I get my voice back.

HEY!!! IM SORRY THE CHAPTERS ARE SO LONG. I TRY TO MAKE THEN SHORTER BUT I JUST CANNOT TELL HOW LONG IT IS.

ANYWAYS, I HOPE YOU LIKE IT. IT TOOK ME A WHILE TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THIS ONE WAS GOING TO BE ABOUT. BUT YOU WILL HEAR MORE ABOUT ADAM IN THE NEXT COUPLE CHAPTERS.

THANKS FOR READING!!!