Hey There, Delilah

Hey There, Delilah (37)

“Are you kidding me?”

“Delilah--”

“There is no way I’m going that! I’m not going to therapy!” I shouted at my mother as I crossed my arms over my chest. Therapy? Was she serious? She couldn’t have been! She just decided to break it to me right before I went back to my old school for the first day after months of being at a school for all boys? I didn’t know if she thought I was crazy or depressed, but there was no way I was going to see a therapist.

Yeah, I was upset that I wasn’t with River, Rex, or Seth anymore, but not enough to go to therapy! And I had been through a lot with my stalkers and Mr. Higginson, but that didn’t mean I needed to go and talk to some professional about my problems!

So far, being back at home really sucked. I had only been back for a week, and it was complete hell. I hadn’t seen anyone but Arianna the first day I had gotten back, and that wasn’t exactly the greatest meeting. The only good thing that had happened since I’d been back was that my mom got me a new phone, and it was a lot better than my old one.

“I think it’s a good idea, D,” Jake told me with a sigh, shaking his head slightly. “After everything you’ve been through, I can’t believe you haven’t gone crazy yet.”

I gave him a flat look, considering how blunt he had been about it. But he hadn’t seen me the night of the fair with Mr. Higginson. He didn’t see how crazy I had gotten. I hoped no one would ever see anything like that.

“I’m not going to therapy,” I told them, shaking my head. “Therapy’s for crazy people or people with real problems. I don’t have problems anymore. Mr. Higginson’s been caught and he’s in jail.”

“But after everything you’ve been through, I think it would be for the best,” my mother pressed on, frowning as I continued to protest.

“Well, I don’t think it’s for the best. I think it’s a stupid idea and I don’t need anyone trying to help me with my nonexistent problems.”

I gripped my backpack straps tightly, just wanting to get out of the house and forget this entire conversation. I did not want to go to therapy. I didn’t need to go to therapy! I was perfectly fine. Just because I had been through something seriously traumatic didn’t mean that I had to go see some professional.

“We’re going to be late if we don’t go, Mom,” Jake sighed, placing a hand on our mother’s shoulder. “Try talking to her after school. I think she’s a little nervous because it’s her first day back.”

“It isn’t a new school,” I snapped, my arms now crossed over my chest. “I know everyone there. I’m not nervous; I’ve known these kids since we were little.”

Jake shrugged, passing me and heading out the front door. I rolled my eyes, following him in silence. I really didn’t want to go back to school. I knew that it was going to bring back memories that I didn’t want to remember, and make me think of the better school I had been out only a few weeks before.

But I didn’t belong there, as everyone told me. I wasn’t a boy.

I didn’t want to be a boy, but there wasn’t any other way that I could have gone back to Bentwood. I had been kicked out because I wasn’t the right gender. And I hated that.

“Are you sure you’re not nervous?” Jake asked as he continued to drive us to school.

I sighed, not even looking away from the window to face him. “I’m not nervous,” I assured him. “I’m just upset.”

“That’s pretty obvious,” he voiced, and I could see that he shook his head in the reflection of the glass. “I know you’d rather be with Mountain, or whatever his name is, but you really didn’t belong at that school. It was a bad idea sending you there in the first place.”