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 Alilla


Our bags were packed, our tickets were in my purse now I just had to convince myself to get out of bed. 

The gentle buzz of my phone woke me from my cozy little daze.  I picked it up from the nightstand, turning off the alarm. I unlocked it and checked my messages I had a message from my brother Aaron.

"Have a safe flight sis, I'll see you when you land."Reading the message made me realize that this was all really happening, I was going back to London. 

 I tossed my warm blanket off and shuffled into the hall bath. Flipping on the light I took a long look at my self in the mirror.  Today was not going to be one of the days I could get away without taking a shower. The grease in my hair was horrendous and the bags under my eyes were defiantly not Gucci.  

I turned the shower on then took off my over-sized hoodie. Stepping under the warm water my mind couldn't help but wonder. It had been three years since we'd been back in England, the long list of 'what ifs' and 'well maybes' flashed though my mind. 

But then again maybe that's where I was going wrong. Was I so afraid of something bad would I let it mess something good?

I let the hot water steam up the bathroom for a few more minutes before turning the water and my thoughts off.

I stepped out of the shower, towel dried my hair before wrapping it into a bun on top of my head I walked out of the bathroom wrapped in my towel back into my bedroom.  I glanced over at the mounds of blankets and pillows to find a sleeping boy who had found his way into my bed. His arm was over his eyes and his mouth was hanging open, I shook my head smiling at my mess of a child.

I pulled my favorite lacy green top from my closet and threw it over my head. I picked up a pair of leggings and a pair of jeans.  Should I wear real pants today?  I laughed at my self before pulling on my leggings.  Leggings are real pants.   I walked into the bathroom and checked myself in the mirror, I  actually looked decent today.  Besides my ball of wet hair and make up-less face that is.

"Momma?" A little voice called.  I stepped into the doorway of the bathroom to see his blanket covered blonde curls and his shirtless chest sitting up right in middle of my bed.

"Yes baby?" He rubbed his bright blue eyes.  Waking up through out the night had become a very regular trait in my sons sleep schedule, but today I hope that it will help him sleep on the eight hour flight we were about to get on

"What we doing today?"   The thought of just telling him we weren't doing anything was a lot more becoming than telling we were leaving the country. 

"We're going to see Uncle Aaron baby." He gave me that smile.  The smile that made little butterflies pipe up in my stomach.

   He crawled up out of my bed and ran towards the door.  His little feet ran down the hall to his room.  He got into his room then turned back around to me.  His little hand reached up for mine and pulled me down so we were eye-to-eye.  He places his hands on my cheeks and pulled me in for a good morning kiss "I love you momma!" 

 He smiled and ran back out of the room.  I stood up and just grinned,  that boy had me wrapped around his finger and he knew it too.  Taking a deep breath I finished getting ready then made my bed.   I was done packing all of my things and only had a very minimal amount of Alex's things to toss into his suitcase.  

I went down into his room, his toys were still scattered all over the bedroom floor from the night before.  I grabbed his book bag he normally took to daycare and filled it with coloring books, puzzles and a few of his favorite small toys.  As I went to leave his room I couldn't help wish I wasn't leaving.  This was home, this was safe.  I flicked off the light and tried to put my worry at the back of my mind

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