Zodiac Signs etc.

The signs as Insults.

Aries: Wow, that's a lovely shade of ultra bitch you're wearing today.

Taurus: If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I'd fart.

Gemini: You shouldn't play hide and seek, no one would look for you.

Cancer: I'd slap you, but shit stains.

Leo: Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?

Virgo: I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than that.

Libra: I'm jealous of all the people that haven't met you.

Scorpio: I don't exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it.

Sagittarius: Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?

Capricorn: You bring everyone a lot of joy, when you leave the room.

Aquarius: I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you.

Pisces: Well I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.