Chapter 24: Carter

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 I'm blaming my stiff suit for the fact that I don't reach Felix until he's outside of his hotel room, even though I'm on the track team. I yelled at him the whole time he was charging up the stairs, but he didn't even spare me a backwards glance and continued sprinting away from me. He's having trouble opening his door, so I finally have time to catch up to him.

"Felix, c'mon, man. What's wrong?" I ask, wheezing with my hands on my knees.

"Nothing, Carter! God, just leave me alone," he spits, finally unlocking his door.

"Don't be like that," I heave, stopping the door with my foot before he shuts it in my face. "Something happened to make you run out of there. If you don't want to talk about it, then fine, but at least let me make sure that you're okay."

"Ugh," he grunts.

Pulling off his tie, Felix flops back onto his bed, running his hands up and down his face. I stand at the edge of the bed, staring at him. I can't tell if he's angry or in despair. He stays like that for a while: lying on his bed, mumbling something under his breath every now and then. He looks like a ticking time bomb, slowly fiddling with his hands and breathing, as if he's about to blow any second, rather by bursting into tears or throwing something across the room. Instead, he throws himself off the bed and struts over towards a wooden cabinet and throws it open.

"What are you doing?" I ask, coming to stand behind him.

He startles, like he didn't notice that I'm still in the room. "Someone left these in here," he says, pulling out two bottles of liquor.

"Felix, what the fuck? You have debates tomorrow; you can't drink."

"Who gives a shit," he says, trying to twist the cap off something that looks like gin.

Before he can bring the bottle to his lips, I snatch it out of his hands and hold it behind my back. He mutters "give it back," but I take a step back from him. I don't know what's going on with him. Felix doesn't really come across as the drinking type, and certainly not the drown-your-sorrows-in-alcohol type.

"Okay, Felix, please. What's wrong?" I ask.

"If I tell you will you give me the bottle back?"

I agree, but I don't plan on actually giving it back.

Felix walks over to the side of his bed and slumps down onto the floor. I sit beside him. The room is dark except for the moonlight shining in through the open window. I don't think now is a good time to ask to turn the lights on, so I just sit still, basking in the moonlight. Felix remains quiet for a long time, with only the steady rhythm of our breathing filling in the silence. Finally, he grunts and pulls his phone out of a pocket on his pants. He taps around on the screen for a while. The blue light highlights the streaks of tears along his cheeks and the rim of red around his eyes. His gold-rimmed glasses are practically falling off the tip of his nose.

He seems to locate what he was looking for on his phone, shoving it into my hands. My eyes adjust to the brightness of his screen before realizing what I'm looking at. It's a text thread between Felix and someone named "Eva." And then I look at the last text sent to Felix.

I just saw Tim leaving Stephan's dorm. I'm so sorry, Felix.

I turn towards Felix. I know I was only getting Felix's perspective, but it really seemed like him and Timothy were doing well. "How do you know this is true?"

"Because a few weeks ago I asked if there was something going on between him and Stephan because they were always hanging out together and they were really... touchy. He told me nothing was going on and that I was being paranoid over nothing." Felix sniffles, "Well I guess it wasn't fucking nothing."

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