Chapter 30: Carter

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"We should stop," Sadie says, just as she laces her fingers together behind my neck and pulls my mouth back to hers.

"Definitely," I breathe, eager to feel her soft lips against mine, again.

"This is a bad idea."

"Really bad," I agree.

We're both soaked in rain water, but I don't even care. I've never been so close Sadie, and, now that I am, I never want to move away. The feel of her velvet skin underneath my fingertips, the taste of the minty mouthwash she uses excessively everyday, and the sent of her fruit punch shampoo. I am completely engulfed in her and it feels incredible. It's some sort of high–full of adrenaline–that I refuse to come down from. She wants me. The way she's grabbing my shirt, the sounds that are escaping her perfect little mouth; it's just fuelling a fire that has been burning within me for a damn long time.

Kissing her, I seem to forget. The fact that tomorrow's the last day at this tournament. How we were just screaming at each other ten minutes ago. This is euphoria. And she's right. This is a bad idea. But if something bad feels this good, well, then I'm in for a lifetime of bad decisions.

I don't know how much time has passed when Sadie gently shoves my chest and peels her back away from the lamppost.

"Carter," she starts.

God, I love when she says my name. I barely ever hear it roll of her tongue, and, when it does, she's never addressing me directly. But the way she says my name now, it's like some wall between us has broken down. And she's still Sadie; the infuriating, overachiever girl that I've been competing with for the past three years. But she's also Sadie; the girl I haven't been able to get off my mind, no matter how hard I tried.

I just nod as a response. Forming words has quickly become difficult.

"We can't do this."

I freeze. I don't know why, but this was not the response I anticipated. "Why not?" I ask, my voice small, as if there's something wedged in my throat.

She laughs, but there's no amusement hiding within it. "Oh, smarten up, Conners. Me. You. It would never work. You don't even like me."

You're wrong, I want to tell her. Instead, I say, "Do you like me?"

She stares down at her shoes, slow raindrops falling on them. "Not like that."

She's lying. I can see that she's lying. Please tell me she's lying. "Okay."

"Ugh," she groans, pulling on the ends of her hair. "I screwed everything up."

"No, you didn't," I say.

"I kissed you." She says it like it's such a bad thing.

"No, I kissed you."

She's trying to hold onto her frown, but I see the corner of her mouth turn up. "Smartass."

I smile because I can't help it. She's biting her bottom lip to stop her lips from forming the same grin as mine. What are we doing? I want to kiss her again. She doesn't want me to. She thinks it was a mistake. I disagree.

Sadie seems to have regained her composure. "I mean, we're always competing, and we can barely be in the same room without biting each other's heads off. Whatever that was, it would complicate things."

"I didn't ask for your hand in marriage or anything," I say, trying to defuse the ounce of tension I can feel suspended in the air.

Sadie buries her face in her hands, hiding frustration or a blush, I don't know. "See!" She exclaims. "You are so exasperating."

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