Bonus Holiday Chapter

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Sadie

Today is Christmas Eve and I'm spending it alone. My mother is out on vacation with the friends she made in group therapy doing some bonding exercises recommended by her therapist. My counsellor recommended something similar, but she seems to have forgotten that all my friends are left behind at Fairridge during holiday breaks. M father's been at rehab for a while, but we get calls to the house that tell us he's doing well. My sister's room is quiet and empty–no different than it has been for well over a year.

Somedays I spend hours sitting on the floor of Maddie's room, staring around at the artwork and photographs that line her walls. Neither mother or I ever had the heart to take them down. Dr. Hitchman worries that by not taking apart Maddie's room, mother and I are living in denial that she's dead. But I don't think we are. I just don't want to lose a huge source comfort, even if the comfort is coming from a dead sister.

I've spent most of winter break calling Ana and Angie or Carter. Angie said she was going to spend Christmas with Dimitri's family because her mother has to work, so I haven't heard from her recently. She told me that Dimitri scored some journalism internship that causes him to work over the break, but she doesn't mind because Dimitri's mom and Angie are practically best friends.

Ana's still tutoring Landon, even during the holiday's. I think he's pretty insistent on getting an A in English class this year. Or he just wants to be around Ana. I've tried asking Carter if Landon wants to get back together with Ana, but he's not willing to break whatever bro-code they have in place. Which, while respectable, is quite infuriating.

If I'm being honest, I have no idea what's up with Ty. Like, Landon, he's got a ton of schools interested in giving him scholarships, and about half of the freshman class is obsessed with him. But seniors don't date freshman. The first time a freshman girl asked Ty for his number after he was done doing sprints on the track, Lena spit out her cigarette in a fit of laughter. Honestly, I had trouble containing my own.

I pull the bowl of macaroni and cheese that I was reheating out of the microwave just as my phone rings. I know it's not my dad because he called last week. Reading the caller ID, a grin forms on my face.

"Felix!" I yell into the phone.

"Sadie Bear!" He replies with even more enthusiasm.

"What's going on?"

"Well... You remember that guy I was talking to?"

"Jadon?" I ask.

"Yeah. Well, I was doing laundry and then my phone buzzes, and I pick it up thinking that it's Gracie trying to confirm something else about Spring Break."

Carter, Landon, Dimitri, Ana, Angie, Lena, Gracie, Ty, Felix, and I have been trying to plan one giant trip for spring break, but due to us all living different places and having different interests, trying to coordinate one thing that we'll all enjoy has been a nightmare. We've settled on some place warm with beaches, but Gracie is so keen on making this the best vacation ever that she's constantly blowing up the group chat with travel itineraries and plane costs. You gotta love her.

"But it wasn't Gracie, and instead it was Jadon asking me out! To dinner! Who the fuck asks someone out to dinner over winter break if they don't seriously like them?"

"No one," I say.

"Exactly! So, now I'm here standing in front of my closet realizing that I own nothing nice enough for the fancy-ass sushi restaurant he picked out."

"Just wear the suit you wore at the debate competition last year," I suggest.

Even mentioning JW Debate makes me giddy with joy. Even though Carter and I were bickering and denying our feelings the whole time, it was a once in a life time experience that I can never forget. And winning made it so much better. We're attending a few more competitions in February and March, but nothing as prestigious as JW Debate was.

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