Chapter 25: Sadie

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 Carter is drunk. I don't know how or why, but from the way he's slurring and bumping into everything within a five foot radius, I know he's fucking drunk. Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

There's a reason I don't go to parties. Drunk people make me... uncomfortable. The last time I had to take care of someone after they've been drinking was when Maddie... I would do anything in my power to avoid going back home during the year, but I would turn into her babysitter during winter and summer break. Either holding her hair back while she threw up in the singular bathroom of our apartment, or dragging her out of a cab after she went out clubbing with her "friends." Just the smell of alcohol on someone's breath is enough to make me want to throw up. Most drink to forget, but just the presence of liquor makes a bunch of memories crawl up my skin. Memories that make me hate myself more than anybody else in them.

He's mumbling something under his breath before slumping down onto the floor. He can't seem to keep his back straight or legs still. He's a pile of jello lying on the hotel room floor. I take a few deep breaths. It's going to be okay, I tell myself. You know how to deal with these situations. Carefully, I approach Carter and sit down on the floor beside him. I've never seen him drunk before. I don't know if he becomes angry, hyper, or completely drained. Right now, he looks like he can barely move, but his mouth certainly is.

"Jonieee," he sings. "Get it? Sadie and Jones? Jonie!"

I swallow the lump in my throat. Funny or talkative drunk? "Yeah, that's, um, clever."

"Awe, did Jonie just call me clever?" He sounds so... flattered.

"I guess," I mumble.

Carter leans over so his head is resting on my shoulder, the rest of his body pushed up against my side. He's still wearing his suit just like I'm still wearing my dress. I guess both of us haven't had time to change.

"What happened with Felix?" I ask. My voice sounds like I'm talking to a toddler. I'm not used to seeing Carter so uncollected. He's always so put together. Prim and proper. His current state is throwing me off.

He shakes his head furiously. "I can't tell you. I'd be breaking bro code."

"I don't care. I just need to make sure he's okay," I sigh. I don't think I can wait until tomorrow to ask Felix myself.

"Fine, fine, fine, but only because you asked so nicely," Carter slurs, his head lolling off my shoulder. "His boyfriend cheated on him. Poor Felix is a very sad boy."

"Oh, I'm sorry," I say, even though I should be apologizing to Felix. "He's a dick for doing that."

"I know. What a fucking prick."

"Is that why you're drunk?" I ask, tentatively. I lean my head back against the drawer behind me, and I let the cool wood soothe my forming headache.

He snaps his head up. "I'm not drunk," he protests, trying to lean back against the drawer, as well, and banging his head in the process. "Maybe a little."

"A little more than a little," I say, and a light chuckle escapes from my lips. See, you're fine.

Suddenly he turns toward me, our noses almost touching. Carter can't seem to keep his head up, so he leans the side of it against the drawer. I do the same. I used to think that he only had a few freckles, but now I can see that there's a light dusting of them across the tops of his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. His green eyes are unfocused, but brighter than I've ever seen them. Strands of hair falls across his forehead and I resist the urge to brush them away. He's just staring at me, and I wonder, if he wasn't so drunk, would be be analyzing my face the same way I'm analyzing his?

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