Sure Thing

𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘺 𝘛𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘦 - 𝘚𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘣𝘺

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Three Weeks Later...

I wish I could say it's gotten easier.

But that would be a lie, I guess the truth is that instead I've learned how to cope. Seeing your abusive ex die in front of your own eyes is something I will never be able to erase from my memory.

Part of me doesn't want to because then I know he is actually gone, I am finally free of him. Yet the other self part of me wishes I never had to see it happen, it keeps me up at night and I'm so tired of it.

It turns out I was over sleeping on my medication because he was giving me the wrong one. The plan was for me to oversleep on purpose in the hopes that one day I would forgot to pick Lucas up. It would give him the perfect time to do whatever he set out to do.

It also explains why Lucas was so weird after therapy, he had been seeing Cole around the halls. He didn't know for sure and instead just called him a monster, which turned out to be why Lucas was so scared that one night.

Cole had been in his room, I guess he planned to take him that night. When he heard me and Ronan coming up the stairs he fled but not before leaving a bug. He was listening in to everything inside the house.

It's how he chose that day, he knew Ronan would be dropping him off and that I was at work. It makes me feel sick, that I missed all of those signs.

I put Lucas in danger all because I didn't pay attention. It huts. It really fucking hurts but I refuse to let Cole continue to control my life from the grave. He is gone and I have the chance to completely reroute my life.

It's why I have spent the last three weeks in therapy and it's been absolute hell. Ronan is sleeping in the spare bedroom or staying with Lucas in his room. Having to discuss every single thing that is a trigger to me, why they are and what happened has put my nerves on end.

Any loud sound, quick movement or unexpected touch makes me flinch. I can't control it and I wish I could. I watch Ronan's face every time he reaches for me and it breaks my heart to see him hurting as well.

Everything is becoming a trigger and it makes me feel weak, like after everything I've been through I'm just stuck like this for the rest of my life. Lucas has been going to therapy but Dr Parker comes to the house instead, not only is Lucas more comfortable, we just can't go back to that place.

"Are you alright dear?" A warm hand gently pats my hand.

I blink out of my thoughts and face my client. I look over his greying hair and slightly wrinkled face and smile at him. "I'm just thinking. Always in my head." I joke.