Collision (HermitcraftxEmpires Au)

Incorrect Quotes 4

Joel: What are your goals?
Sausage: To pet all the dogs
Joel: No I mean fitness goals
Sausage: To be able to run fast enough to pet all the dogs

Grian: My life isn't as glamorous as my wanted poster makes it look like

Joey: I need a human skull and you can't ask any questions why
Cleo: Only if you don't ask why
Cleo: *pulls out 7 pristine human skulls* take your pick
Joey:
Cleo:
Joey: This one is fine

Jevin: *gets down on one knee*
Cleo: Oh my god it's finally happening
Jevin: *falls over*
Cleo: The poison is kicking in

Xisuma: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?
Cleo: Stop romanticising the past

Bdubs: Etho I'm sad
Etho: *holds out arms for a hug* it's going to be okay
Grian: Scar I'm sad
Scar, nodding: Mood

Cleo: *stubs her toe* FUCK
Xisuma: Language!
Cleo: What else am I supposed to say? 'Woe is I?'
Xisuma:
Cleo: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes

Joel: I'm 10 times funnier and sexier than you
Jimmy: 10 times 0 is still 0 tho
Joel: Jokes on you I can't do math

Cleo: You're right
Xisuma: That's... an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

Etho: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying 'I haven't decided yet' is typically a good response

Ren: In your opinion, what's the height of stupidity?
Etho: *turning to Bdubs* how tall are you?

Impulse: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me
Pearl: okay, but in my defence Grian bet me 50c I couldn't drink all that shampoo
Impulse: That's not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!

Xisuma: You're smiling. Did something good happen?
Cleo: Nooooo, can't I just smile because I feel like it?
Pearl: Jevin ran face first into a wall

Ren: What's your biggest weakness?
Grian: I can be uncooperative
Ren: Okay, can you give me an example?
Grian: No

Scar after putting on a full bodysuit: My flavour is all sealed in

Etho: You can say 'have a nice day' and not have a problem yet if you say 'have a nice 24hrs' it sounds vaguely threatening
Ren: What-
Bdubs: He's having one of those days

Sausage: Is something burning?
Joel: Just my love for you
Sausage:
Sausage: Joel, the toaster is on fire

Cleo: God give me patience
Jevin: I think you mean 'god give me strength'
Cleo: If god gave me strength, you'd be dead

Ren: Here's a fun Christmas idea. We hang a mistletoe, but instead of kissing you FIGHT whoever is under it
Bdubs: Ren no
Etho: Mistlefoe
Bdubs: Please stop encouraging him

Scar: Oh, just so you know, it's very muggy outside
Grian:
Grian: Scar I swear if I step outside and all our mugs are in the lawn...
Scar: *sips coffee from bowl*

Store worker: Would Mr. Impulse please come to the front desk?
Impulse, arriving at the front desk: Hey, is there a problem?
*Store worker points to Gem and Pearl*
Store worker: I believe they belong to you?
Gem and Pearl simultaneously: We got lost :(
Impulse: I didn't even bring you guys here with me-

Bdubs: Must be hard not being able to laugh
Etho: I do have a sense of humour you know
Bdubs: I've never heard you laugh before
Etho: I've never heard you say anything funny