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Ever since I shared my middl...
The following is an actual letter to the author. Identifying information has been removed.
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Dear Meghan,
I got drunk at a party and ended up making out with two guys. The first was in public so everyone knows about that, while the second was in private, so I was able to deny it. However, guys have been lying about making out with me, so now people come up to me and say, "Six people! OMG!" and start laughing their heads off. Girls that I thought were my friends made comments like, "She's sexually frustrated" and (to my best friend), "Why didn't you slap the shit out of her for doing such a thing?" I'm not used to dealing with this type of (unwanted) attention. I am a bit disturbed at how judgmental people can be. Please give me something to hold on to.
Sincerely, One Party, Two Kisses
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Dear OPTK,
You already know this, but however many people you choose to kiss (or not to kiss) has nothing to do with your worth as a person. Those guys who are lying about you, well, their behavior does reflect on the quality of their character, so don't let them drag you down.
The kind of sexual bullying you're going through is all about shame. Your classmates learned, like generations before them, that casual sexual activity (even kissing!) is inherently wrong, unless it's within a heteronormative marriage. They also learned that it's their job to enforce sexual norms through shaming others who don't abide by them. Neither of those things is true, of course. And your classmates probably don't even realize they're participating in a long tradition of "slut" shaming. Unfortunately, society has a long way to go before we're all on the same page about sexual health, freedom, and safety. Until then, it's up to us to build resilience, support each other, and keep fighting for change.
So, what does that look like when you go back to school and face these kids? It looks like an eye roll and a shrug, an uninterested dismissal of anyone who attempts to make you feel bad about something that 1) isn't shameful and 2) isn't true, anyway. You might respond with, "Oh, so [Guy #6] said we kissed? Must not have been very good, because I certainly don't remember it," with a wink. Bullies feel foolish when their target doesn't mind. The rumors will fade as soon as your classmates realize you won't let their shame rub off on you.
In solidarity,
Meghan
Disclaimer: This advice column is for informational and entertainment purposes only. I'm not a licensed mental health professional and the advice provided is not intended to replace professional advice. Neither I nor Wattpad bears responsibility for any outcomes resulting from the advice given.
