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Ever since I shared my middl...
The following is an actual letter to the author. Identifying information has been removed.
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Dear Meghan,
I am in a committed, loving relationship with one amazing guy since the beginning of November. It is the longest relationship I have ever had. Also we both said "I love you" before anything physical happened between us. Still my parents feel the need to bring up the fact that I am having sex. I have pointed out for years the fact that my younger sister is having sex with her boyfriend, and I don't see why it is considered okay, or even right, on her end. Yet I am considered some kind of "slut" when I have sex with my boyfriend. Maybe it is because I had sex so late in life. I was in my mid 20s when I lost my virginity. Maybe they don't want to see me as an adult. I am not sure what to do.
Sincerely,
My Parents Are Picking On Me
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Dear MPAPOM,
Congratulations on your new relationship! It's marvelous that you've found someone worthy of committing to, and it's understandable that you want your parents to join in your happiness. How disappointing to experience their judgment instead.
I'd like to gently suggest that the reason your parents might not see you "as an adult" is because you have yet to see yourself that way. The way your parents are treating you now sounds similar to the way you've treated your little sister "for years," under the assumption that, unlike yours, her sexual choices should not be considered "okay, or even right." Your main struggle lies in comparing yourself to her, including your differing sexual trajectories. That's an immature impulse, and it's no longer serving you in your mid 20s.
Your inclusion of certain details in this letter, like the length of the relationship and the step of saying "I love you" before becoming sexually active, shows the value you place on certain rules to govern your sexual activity. It's important to remember that those rules are extremely personal, and everyone has their own set of boundaries when it comes to sex. Everyone, including your little sister, gets to decide what they are comfortable with, and no one deserves to be shamed for it.
Take a step back and reevaluate the way you interact with your sister. Once you lay off the hypocrisy, I suspect everyone in your family will view your relationship more favorably. If not, and your parents continue to refuse to treat you like an adult, then show them you're an adult. When they try to "slut" shame you, simply end the conversation. Walk away if you need to. Adults don't care what their parents think of their sex lives.
In solidarity,
Meghan
Disclaimer: This advice column is for informational and entertainment purposes only. I'm not a licensed mental health professional and the advice provided is not intended to replace professional advice. Neither I nor Wattpad bears responsibility for any outcomes resulting from the advice given.
