can't have it all - gavi and pedri

nine

gavi's pov

i don't know what it is about her, but i'm so intrigued. it's like i need to know her, but i can't.

the first day i saw her was not the day that pedri brought her to dinner. i don't think she remembers though because i'm pretty sure she would've said something.

when pedri told me that he was bringing someone to dinner, i was happy for him. but then she walked up to our table and i have to admit, i was instantly jealous that she was with pedri. even if they weren't dating, they were showing interest in each other.

when i feel these kinds of feelings, it's hard to process them and i start acting badly. for example, i didn't really mean to be rude to julia but it was like i couldn't hold it in.

this actually happens quite often, especially on the field. i get too mad and i end up doing something stupid like making a harsh tackle, yelling, arguing, hitting the ground, and sometimes other stuff. i've given so many fouls and gotten so many yellow cards because of the way i act.

i know i should be able to control my feelings of anger or jealousy, but it's harder than it seems.

this morning when pedri and i got in the car, he told me that mia and julia were coming. i stayed quiet the rest of the ride to the stadium which was normal behavior since it was early in the morning and neither of us were up to talk.

he tried to get me to come wait for julia and mia with him but i told him no and said that i needed to talk to xavi before practice. i didn't really have to but i couldn't go and watch him and julia flirt. i was already holding in feelings of jealousy from her coming to watch him practice.

it was really stupid of me to take out my anger on him during our scrimmage. i knew xavi would get mad but i still did it, and i don't know why.

after practice, i saw her and mia walking over to meet the team so i went straight to the locker room to avoid them.

i took off my equipment and shoved it all into my bag. i grabbed my phone, actually looking at it for the first time today. it was all the same notifications as always but i still like to look through them and see the things my supporters say about me.

a few minutes later, the door to the locker room opened up and in walked lewandowski.

"hey gavi," he started. "you good?"

"yeah, i'm fine. why?"

"you ran off pretty quick. and not to mention that tackle to pedri. what's going on?"

"just an off day i guess." i shrugged.

"come on, you can talk to me. you know that right?"

"i know."

"then tell me what's going on."

i do trust lewandowski. he's always been able to give me the best advice, on and off the pitch. and i've always looked up to him as an idol.

"it's a long story." i said, grabbing my water bottle and drinking some.

"and we've got lots of time." he sat down on a bench across from the one i was sitting on, starting to take off his gear.

"i don't know."

"come on, you'll feel better after getting it off your chest."

he was right about that. talking about things does help. normally when i'm feeling like this, i'd go talk to pedri, but obviously in this situation i can't.

"alright, fine." i gave in. "so you know-"

"hold on." he cut me off. he made his way over to his bag and grabbed a little bag of pretzels to eat. "okay go."

"what the. you know what, i'm not even going to question it."

"you said long story and i'm a little bit hungry." he shrugged. "now tell me."

"okay, well-"

i was cut off again. this time by quick footsteps outside of the door to the locker room. it sounded like there was two people running.

"come on, you can come in. it's not like anyone is in there right now." the voice that belonged to ferran spoke.

all of a sudden, mia and him walked into the locker room.

"oh, there is people in here!" he smiled at us. "hello gavi, lewa!"

"hi guys." mia said awkwardly.

we nodded our heads at them as ferran picked up his bag quickly and walked out, not even taking off his stuff.

"okay then." i said when the door closed and the footsteps hurried away. we could still hear their laughter.

"that was weird. you know what, why don't you come to my place. we can talk about this in a more comfortable environment than a locker room. and less interruptions with better food options than pretzels."

"okay, good idea."

he put his stuff that was on the floor into his bag and picked it up. i did the same and we made our way out to his car.

i climbed into the passenger seat and pulled my phone out of my pocket. i don't really know if pedri is mad about the tackles or not but since we live together and he drives me everywhere, i figured that i should tell him i'm going to lewa's house. after that, he started the car and we pulled out of the parking lot.

-

"yeah, so that's basically the whole story." i finished telling him everything, start to finish. i was sitting on his couch while he sat on a chair.

"you're right. that was a long story." he said. "well, have you tried talking to pedri about any of this? or julia? maybe she does remember you."

"no, i don't think she does."

"you'll never know until you say something."

"and no, i haven't said anything to either of them. pedri seems happy and i don't want to ruin that."

"but that means you're unhappy."

"he's my best friend. as long as he's happy, i'll be fine."

"you're a good friend." he smiled. "but your happiness also matters. remember to take care of yourself as well."

"you sound like a real therapist." i laughed. "maybe you should pick it up on the side."

"yeah right." he laughed as well. "i'll stick to football."

we hung out for a bit more until he had to drop me off at home because he had a meeting to go to. i thanked him for listening to me and for the rides before i walked into my own home. he was right, talking about it did make me feel a bit better.

-

heyyyy! i changed it up a bit this chapter going into gavi's pov but i did kinda like it! lmk if you guys like it too and maybe i'll add more of his pov and pedri's too!