Just A Thought

23

ALEX

I don't know what's going on with my sister. I barely see her through the day. She's always in her room, doesn't eat and sleeps all the time.

It's been a week since she came out of her room and I'm honestly freaked out.

I can see Zach is worried as well. He told me what happened when he went to see her. I wonder if she is doing something other than sleeping.

Something is wrong.

VALERI

I've been lying in my bed the whole week high on pills. They're the only things that can help me right now. That keep me calm.

They keep flashbacks and bad memories away. They help me feel nothing.

Alex and Zach kept coming in my room but I didn't speak. I ate a bit but not much.

I'm moving around my bed trying to calm down but I can't. I let out a loud sigh.

And now I think I need alcohol.

I move over and reach under my bed. I touch for a bottle that I took from Madelin last week. It takes me some time but I finally grab it.

I sit up and look around. Painful headache is pounding my head but I hope alcohol will help it.

I open it and take a sip. Although it's burning my throat as I swallow it, I don't stop.

I put it down after a few more sips and stumble to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under the water with my clothes still on.

I want to feel something other than sadness, anger and pain. At the same time I want to stay numb. I think it's better than that.

Water consumes my clothed body, my face, my hair, the cuts on my arms. I lean on a wall and slowly sit down putting my hair our of my face. I look around and spot the blade I've been hurting myself with. I lift up my shirt with shaking hands and look at my body. The cuts on my ribs healed but not fully. I'm assuming they won't turn white but red and purple. I think they will stay there forever.

I place the weapon on the left side of my stomach and pull it across my skin. I have to cover my mouth with my other hand to not yell out.

Hot tears leave my eyes and mix with pouring water. I look down and see red joining them. I squeeze my fist together with the blade between my palm and fingers. It cuts me deep and I drop it and look at my hand.

Fuck.

I turn off the water and crawl out of the shower, on cold tiles. I open a drawer and pull out a towel. I put it over my hand and another one on my stomach. I keep it there for some time until I see blood stop.

I look at my palm. A red line is decorating it and blood is slowly coming out of it.

I pull my wet clothes off my wet body.

I press the towel back on my palm and search for bandages. I wrap one around my palm and then clean the new fresh cuts on the side of my stomach.

6 years ago...

I was doing my homework at my house with Zach. We met a few years ago when he moved here with his parents. They were moving quite a lot because of their work but they are still here.