Just A Thought

28

ALEX

I've been sitting in the hospital for five hours now. The doctors won't let me see my sister, but they said I will see her as soon as possible, if everything goes well.

Zach went out to grab some food. He tried to convince me to go home and get some sleep, but I didn't want to leave Valeri here. Although I have no idea in what state she's in right know, it looked pretty bad when I saw her there lying on her bed unmoving. The white powder under her nose, her cut wrists and the pills on the floor.

I can't forget it. I can't stop the flashbacks. Seeing her like that, on her birthday. Our birthday. This was supposed to be the best birthday of her life, because I know she didn't really celebrate it with her mom. She only celebrated it with Zachary and I'm so grateful for him being there for her when I wasn't.

I feel like I wasn't there for her even after she came to live with me. I wasn't paying enough attention and I'm honestly feeling guilty. I wasn't giving her enough of my time, was I? I noticed she was always in her room, not eating much, being sick all the time but fuck, you don't know how much I wish I could go back and take care of her.

I don't know what made her do it. Maybe the death of her mom or something else.

Right now, I just hope she'll be alright. I believe in her.

The slam of the door brings me out of my thoughts and I look up to see a doctor coming our of Valeri's room. She's a nice middle aged lady with blonde hair and glasses.

"How is she?" I immediately stand up and ask.

"She's stable, but sleeping right now. She overdosed on Rohypnol and cocaine." The doctor sadly looks at me. "She's underweight and shows signs of what looks like self harm."

I stare at a woman infront of me. How could I not see Valeri wasn't okay? Fuck, I should've known. There were so many signs that I missed. She wasn't swimming when we went to the sea, she wore long-sleeved shirts all the time.

I let out a breath.

"When can I see her?" I hopefully asked.

"She probably won't wake up for at least an hour but you're welcome to see her now." She reassuringly smiles at me.

"Okay."

"May I ask where her legal guardian is?" She asks me looking down at the papers in her hand. "We called him, but he said he won't be able to come see her right now."

I completely forgot my father existed.

I clear my throat. "He's on vacation right now, but I believe he'll be back soon."

"Okay. That's all for now. You can go see your sister." The lady nods at me.

"Thank you." She walks down the hall way and I turn to the door. I slowly open it and step inside.

Valeri is lying on her bed. She's sleeping and there are wires connected to her body. She looks pale with dark circles under her eyes. She's wearing a hospital gown, the bandage is wrapped around her wrists.

I come closer. I notice white and red-almost purple-lines all over her arms. I slowly sit down and take her palm into mine.

Valeri looks exhausted. But she's alive. I don't think she'll be happy when she wakes up and realises she failed it. I'm glad she failed. I always wanted a sister or at least a sibling and now that I got her, she almost got away from me.