Chapter 1: A Rude Awakening*

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I throw my head back and open my eyes slowly

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I throw my head back and open my eyes slowly. A book is flying lazily above me. Candlelight flickers, causing mysterious shadows to dance on the walls and within the nooks and crevices of tightly packed books on shelves, reflecting on the chains that keep them in place. A small bead of sweat rolls down my face. 

Is the restricted section of the library always this hot? 

In an instant I become aware of someone else in front of me and the firm but gentle rocking of my body from below. My senses come-to, and I realize how electric and tense I feel. Every nerve is full of yearning as I sit atop an old desk, sparse with books and quills.

It is, shockingly, not squeaky. Thank god for that.

My breath catches in my throat as Sebastian's hands tighten on either side of my hips balanced at the edge of the desk, gripping ravenous fistfuls of robes, skirt and flesh haphazardly in his fingers. 

Reality sinks in. How is this Sebastian Sallow?

And how is Sebastian Sallow so focused on me. Hungry for me. I lace my fingers atop one of his hands and use my other to latch onto an untidy bunch of his robes, loosened tie, and unbuttoned shirt, pulling his face towards mine. I have no time to take in the sight of his bare chest.

We lock eyes. His disheveled hair is the same as when we were young, but he seems older somehow. No, he is definitely older. But my eyes can't seem to focus in the dim light. Or maybe my eyes can't focus on the dim memory of the face I knew so well and the flashes the older face I can only imagine now.

I feel older, too. I am older. I'm me. Me now. I can feel my jaded perspective clouding my disoriented mind. That is something I certainly didn't have as a student.

 But are we in student's robes? How did I even get to the library?

With his slow, rhythmic, and deliberate thrusting, I can hear Sebastian's breath grow shallow as he grabs ahold of one of my wrists tightly and I notice a familiar shift that brings a strange glisten to his eye and dark shadow to his brow. I've seen that look before, long ago, in the catacombs and the undercroft. But here and now, this flavor of intensity is unfamiliar to me.

He is voracious and wild --primal, even. Like an old familiar melody, I can almost hear the subtlety of his metered self control that prevents him from becoming completely unhinged. And, oh my god, the realization of how badly he wants me nearly send me off.

Before I can stop it, the overwhelm building in my bones arches my back and throws my head behind me, sending a soft cry from my lips. 

Instantly, Sebastian halts and a strong hand is pressed firmly over my mouth. Almost too firmly. It jolts my head up, and he locks his eyes to mine. A micro-expression dances across his face. Darkness. Desire. The hand pressing across my mouth is definitely too firm now and almost hurts. A surge of fear begins to well within me as I realize his grip is preventing me from taking a breath.

He clocks the fear that I couldn't keep from flashing in my eyes and hesitates. The quick moment of caution dissolves as he makes the deliberate choice to soften into his self awareness. A sly smile grows across his face. The pressure from his hand releases from across my mouth. As I quietly sip for air, Sebastian leans just too close to my ear which sends a shiver that races down to my toes with his whisper that sits deeper in his voice than it used to.

"Mustn't - make - a peep." 

He articulates each breathy word with a soft kiss to my neck, jaw, and finally - thank god, finally - to my lips.

His kiss is deep and sensual. I once again feel his craving to delve deep into me. His hands confidently rise to hold either side of my face and his tongue slips around mine. I can tell his restraint is hanging on by the very thinnest thread. Fuck, he's even closer than I am.

I'm surprised when he pulls away, places his index finger to his mouth, and shakes his head "no" from side to side, reminding me to hush. I always found his cockiness sexy.

I roll my eyes playfully, as if to say, "I know, I know."

His whisper rings down my spine. Mustn't make a peep. I feel like my body might explode from the anticipation of wanting him.

His hungry smile grows as he descends to his knees, simultaneously pulling me by mine with a confident tug to the most precarious point of the desk's edge. Slowly, so slowly, he pushes my knees apart and nudges gently at the wayward edges of my skirt and robes under which his handsome, mischievous face disappears.

I can feel his breath on my inner thighs. 

Then, after what feels like a lifetime, I feel his tongue.

Holy shit. His tongue.

My heart races as electricity pulses through my body. I have to cover my mouth with my own hand this time to keep myself from crying out '"yes, don't you dare fucking stop, YES!" '

God, I want him so badly.

I feel his tongue and his lips begin to---

TAP! TAP! TAP!

"Miss April? Are you awake?" 

A voice at the door is calling me. 

What door? There was no door here a moment ago.

Confusion.

The feeling of Sebastian's hands gripping desperately to my thighs fades.

I'm disoriented. No, I'm frantic! Wait! Stop! Where's Sebastian? 

TAP! TAP! TAP! 

No! Stop! The old hinges on my bedroom door squeak me out of oblivion and into the excruciating light of a new day. 

Damn. Damn damn damn. 


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