Loving Alek came easily. Being indifferent to him was the hard part.
If I wanted any chance of surviving this breakup, I needed to get my acting skills up to par though because something tells me that his walking out the door to go to her is only t...
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Alek was hunting for me as soon as he realized I was actually gone from his life for good. Everleigh got a notification on her Ring camera when we were moving me to my house and when she pulled it up, Alek was there on the screen, pounding on her door. His begging tore little shreds into my heart, but I continued to watch indifferently as he pleaded my name.
There's never been a time in the three years we've been together that Alek has lowered himself enough to plead with someone else.
According to everyone else around me that knows Alek and me, he's been reaching out to them too, trying to find where I am.
The thing is...if I'm not important enough for him to remember that I still own the fucking house I was living in before I moved in with him six months ago, then he doesn't deserve to know where I am.
I informed everyone of that little fact in a firm voice, too.
I dare the first person to open their mouth and tell him because I won't hesitate in the least to cut them out of my life. I'm so tired of messing around when it comes to Alek. I've given him so much of myself over the last three years, and it didn't even matter in the end. I didn't even matter. When I begged him to stay, he chose to leave. That move told me everything I needed to know. It solidified the fact in my heart that I'm always going to be a placeholder for the woman he truly wants. Now that she's free, he can finally have the real thing instead of the fucking imitation he's had for the last three years.
The moment Alek walked out the door to go with David to Jerica's, I started shutting myself off from him. It's not as easy as I'd hoped it'd be, but I tell myself that I'll get there. Every day will get easier. I only have to wake up every morning and breathe. And one of those mornings, I'll wake without puffy and red-rimmed eyes and craving his arms around me.
As I break down the last box after unpacking it, I glance around my house, my heart weighing heavily in my chest when there's nothing to give any sign of mine and Alek's relationship.
There was a reason I listened to my gut when it told me to not put my house up for sale like Alek wanted me to. I pushed it off, saying I'd rather rent it out to have a side income. I didn't even do that though because something was telling me I was going to be needing it sooner rather than later.
Seems I should buy my intuition a motherfucking drink or something. It's the only thing that knew what I was too fucking stubborn to admit until I was left broken and bruised.
With nothing else to do for the rest of the day, I grab a glass of wine and head into my office. It's more of a den that I've turned into my work area, but it's one of my favorite places in this house. I actually kind of missed it when I moved to Alek's. His apartment was huge, and I had my work area, but I'd be lying if I said it was as cozy as this.
My guitar sits on its stand beside the cozy chair in front of the fireplace. My writing notebook waits for me on the side table within easy reach. There's a beanbag chair on the floor in front of the table. It gives me more breathing and playing room when I'm using the guitar.
