Loving Alek came easily. Being indifferent to him was the hard part.
If I wanted any chance of surviving this breakup, I needed to get my acting skills up to par though because something tells me that his walking out the door to go to her is only t...
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I watch Charlie and Keaton interact for a bit before I approach them.
Their love is there for anyone watching. It's loud, it's raw, and it's fucking strong. He gazes at her as if she's the most precious thing in this world. As if he's going to blink and she'll be gone. It's something he's confessed to me of still being afraid of. He said that she could wake up tomorrow, one year from now, or ten years from now, and decide that their relationship isn't what she wants anymore. That she's given it her all, but that what he did is just something she's never going to get past his infidelity. Keaton admitted in a vulnerable moment that his work to prove her worth, to prove his love, will never be complete and it's something that he's happy about. He finds solace in giving her something to look forward to each day, proving his love for her in countless ways, and genuinely repenting for his actions.
While I didn't respect him for the longest fucking time for what he did to Charlie, I have a hell of a lot of respect for him now. Facing the consequences of your actions is never an easy feat.
They both peer up at me with smiles when I slide into the booth.
"You all are going to make me sick with that ooey gooey shit," I tease.
"That usually happens when you fuck up with your own girl," Keaton quips.
I scrub a hand over my head. "You're right."
"Then stop pussyfooting around and tell us what we need to know so we can help," he says.
"You all know about the shit right after she left, and I came to you all for help. I don't know. I'm stuck in a fucking loop of playing my fuckups and the ways I've failed spectacularly at making them up to her."
"So what really happened that made her leave, Alek? You weren't completely truthful and, frankly, pretty freaking vague," Charlie asks.
"Fuck," I groan, scrubbing my face and leaning back in the booth. "You all already know how I used her friendship as a buffer for me and Hayvin." They both nod. "I knew she was uncomfortable with Jerica. It was easy for me to justify it because I wasn't doing anything more than having an actual platonic friendship with someone I've known a long damn time. It was this last time that finally pushed her to walk away from me."
"What was different about this time, Alek?" Charlie questions, the tone in her voice telling me she already knows she won't like where I'm going with this.
"She warned me before I walked out the door that we weren't okay. But Char, when she told me she loved me, I freaked the fuck out. My insides were bursting with the need to get the fuck out of there. There was like this insidious voice whispering to me that she was going to break me. That she was going to destroy me. I was fucking suffocating. Her voicing out loud, it made it real. That power. That ability to corrupt and hurt."
"Oh, Alek."
The sorrow and pity in Charlie's voice has me grinding my teeth together.
"I know I'm fucked in the head. Don't need your damn pity for it," I snap.
