Pretty Boy: The Lost Chapters

Deleted: Night Terrors

Trigger Warning: past sexual assault, vivid nightmares/night terrors, depression, panic attacks

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Note: Y'all, this was so difficult to write. Marshall is my baby and writing out scenes where he's in pain legitimately makes me upset 😭 Like, I was sobbing when I had to write about him grieving in the main story.

This chapter is important, though, because I thought it could shed some light on how much Marshall's assault truly impacted him. I wrote that he couldn't be touched a certain way without freaking out, but it also makes things more realistic to show how badly his trauma impacted him even when he was unconscious. It also would've shown Paul how important his presence is in Marshall's life because the only one to truly make him feel safe is Paul.

This scene would've been one of the reasons why he decided to ask Marshall to live in La Push--seeing as staying in the Cullen house was only making things worse.

Timeline wise, this would've happened shortly after the Cullens left Forks. It's their decision to abandon Marshall which causes his struggles with preexisting mental illnesses to worsen.

I know I don't really need to say it since it's obvious, but this is going to be a very heavy chapter. Viewer discretion is advised.

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Marshall's thoughts were loud tonight.

The day had started out well enough: he slept in late since the theater was closed; a nice hike through some nearby mountains presented the opportunity to bask at a nature-filled visage partially hidden behind thick clouds of mist; a few songs, both instrumental and not, had been composed in a peaceful atmosphere; scrolling through social media presented the opportunity to study some new recipe videos. Paul had even surprised Marshall by showing up after a completed perimeter run to spend an otherwise uneventful weekend together.

The rest of their evening consisted of preparing a simple lasagna before plopping down on the couch to binge some horror movies. With casual flirting and a few handsy makeout sessions sprinkled in for good measure, everything was fine. Blissful, rather.

It was only when Marshall excused himself to bathe that he found his mood changing without warning.

Going from happy to sad—from perfectly content to horribly broken inside—had been happening more and more since his family members decided to abandon him.

Now, more often than not, Marshall was delighted at the Cullens' departure. But, in moments when he was alone, his mind sometimes wandered into dangerous territory. Disembodied shouts filled his head with negative thoughts to the point of physically forcing his body to curl into itself in an attempt to try and hide.

Those statements, all different echoes of his own voice, screamed at him without mercy.

They pushed the notion of his family members' distancing as being a ruse. Their real end goal? To actually get away from him. To get rid of a certain vampire who really didn't fit into their picture perfect lives. A coven member who, in their eyes, was nothing more than an inconvenience when he wasn't being useful.

While sitting beneath a hot shower with delicate droplets running along his nude form, he silently revealed just how much their lost presence affected him.

With tears streaming down his face, Marshall could admit:

He missed cooking with Esme. He missed reading with Carlisle. He missed watching sports with Emmett. He missed playing alongside Edward on the piano. He missed shopping with Alice. He missed hunting with Jasper.